Marriage Recovery
by SugarKane Montgomery
Summary: Unable to fully move on, Callie and Arizona begin a tumultuous, year-long affair. They must confront their divorce, their relationship and the prospect of letting go. Will they reunite or will they separate completely? This is their love story.
1. Chapter 1

**Leave Comments and Thoughts. Any of them. Even the really weird and unpleasant ones.**

 **And if you like this (or hate this) and want to contact me, it'd be easier to just message me on my tumblr. SugarKaneMontgomery/tumblr/com. This fanfiction will probably be 15 chapters or less.**

* * *

The bar is smoky.

Smoky and buzzing. The sounds of porcine men readjusting in their seats and women laughing too loudly to be sober rise and fall erratically in the air.

Arizona is hovering in the doorway. Discreetly. Watching as the Doctor lifts a wineglass up to her lips before smiling in satisfaction.

She hasn't slept in thirteen hours. She's disheveled, her fitted black slacks wrinkled around her ankles, her suit jacket stained from haphazard coffee sips. She didn't come here to impress she tells herself.

When she is certain the brunette is alone, Arizona starts her approach, slowly, confidently. But with a certain expectant air the pediatric surgeon always seems to have when it comes to the woman in question. She expects to have the advantage of surprise, but almost as if sensing the other woman's approaching presence, Callie turns her head in Arizona's direction.

And then she smiles, immediately.

And Arizona feels her stomach curl sickly.

"Hi," the ortho surgeon projects excitedly over the bar's background noise, "Penny is finishing up her rounds, but she said she'll be here soon."

Callie waves her hand toward the booth seat across from her, her newly purchased ring glinting in the wall light's faint glow. It looks beautiful.

And real.

And Arizona feels a little more uncomfortable as she settles into her seat.

"Do you want anything?"Callie asks easily as if nothing at all has changed, her hands locked neatly in front of her.  
She looks beautiful tonight.

As gorgeous as the goddess she was named after, and Arizona is instantly reminded of how little she's seen of her lately. Of how easily Callie's stopped their meetings.

"No…but I do want to talk," the blonde says it slowly, trying out a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"About what?" Callie questions, quirking her eyebrows in innocent confusion. And Arizona mimics her expression.

"Callie," the blonde whispers in disbelief, "What do you mean 'About what' ? You're getting married…"

"Yeah, I know," she smiles at Arizona before looking down at her ring and laughing distantly, "It's amazing-"

"It's insane," Arizona interrupts sharply before she can stop herself, and Callie rolls her eyes dismissively.

"I know…I know. You don't have to give me the speech. I'm pretty sure my dad handled that when I told him," she laughs in thought before looking up toward the ceiling, "but you know, I've been thinking. Maybe, three times really is the charm."

She laughs again, and Arizona feels like something is fluttering violently inside of her stomach. So she speaks before she can stop herself.

"Three weeks ago, we were lying naked on top of each other in an on-call room." Callie's laughing ceases. Immediately. And guilt hits Arizona hard, but her tongue is still angry. And sad.

"Ari-" Callie begins but the blonde starts talking before she can finish.

"Three weeks ago, we were fucking in some on-call room while your 'fiancé' was probably doing scut work across town-"

"Stop!" Callie holds up a hand, looking at her ex-wife with hurt eyes. They never talked about it before.

They did it.

Often.

But they never talked about it. It was their own unspoken arrangement. And now here was Arizona, using it as some sort of weapon.

"You don't get to do that, Arizona!" she says in a rough whisper as her eyes skitter across the bar in search of anyone who might have overheard. She's embarrassed. It's written all over her face, and Arizona feels sick just looking at her. "You don't get to have some moral dilemma about it now!" Callie shoots up from her seat, furiously snatching at her purse before making her way to the exit. Arizona is quick behind her.

"Oh wow, so I'm the only one having a moral dilemma here!"Arizona has to block the bar's glass door as Callie purposefully slams it behind her. "I thought you of all people would have some reservations about sleeping around on your partner. Especially when marriage is involved-"

Callie instantly stops, and Arizona almost crashes into her on the sidewalk. She whips around so quickly the blonde flinches back in surprise.

"Don't." She holds her hand up again, her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. "What you did to me is nothing like this."

Arizona folds her arms, looking away toward the shadowy buildings lining the street. "How?"she mutters lowly, "How?"

"You're not some stranger I fucked in a storage closet because I had self-esteem issues," she says it coldly, but the tremor of her voice gives her away. Arizona feels her throat tighten, and her back get heavy. It's been so long since that night. It's been so long, and it's still like a wound that never heals. A story that never ends.

Or maybe that's just Arizona's entire relationship with Callie.

Some gaping unfinished mess.

"Then why, Callie?" Arizona meets her ex-wife's eyes in a broken sort of stare, "What do you get from it? The other surgeon just steps back, shaking her head disbelief.

"You don't get to do this now," she repeats forcefully even with tears slowly slipping from her eyes, "You don't get to do this."

Arizona runs a hand through her hair in frustration. Why does she even care? Why does it even matter? She should just let Callie go be happy in her sham of a relationship. She should just let Callie go be happy with Penny.

But she can't.

Because her heart is possessive and jealous and angry, and it loves Callie. She loves Callie.

But her love is like a child with a prized toy.

Reckless and giddy and stupid.

Accident-prone.

And no matter how much she cares for the woman, despite all her raging, wonderstruck affection, she will most likely break her.

She will most likely leave her scattered in a million pieces. Just like she's done a hundred times before.

"I used to think I couldn't be happy without you, Arizona," Callie says it shakily after a moment, readjusting her purse on her shoulder and looking at her ex-wife with regretful eyes. "And then three weeks ago, my girlfriend took me out to dinner and hid an engagement ring in a bread roll-"

"How original-"

Callie narrows her eyes into a glare, a sad, angry glare, before sighing heavily and looking toward the passing street traffic. "It took my girlfriend hiding an engagement ring inside a bread roll for me to realize that all this time I was never happy without you because I never tried to be."

"Calli-"

"No, Arizona," she stops the other woman quickly, her eyes softening into resignation, "I never tried to be happy without you," she repeats before sighing again, "And that's on me but Arizona," she pauses like the words are heavy in her throat. Like they've been sitting right under her tonsils all this time, and she's only just now noticed their weight. "You never once let me try."

Arizona's eyes widen, cerulean with a tinge of gray. She rubs roughly against her nose, the slender flesh already slightly red from the crisp winter air. Nothing makes sense.

"I want to be happy, Arizona."

The blond flinches, fear and sadness twinkling in her irises.

"I want to be happy without you."

* * *

 ** _6 months ago_**

The moonshine is spilling through the blinds and shading the bed sheets white in its drunken glow. Callie presses her finger lightly into her lover's bruised skin.

"OW!" the blonde yells as quietly as she can, pushing the brunette's hand away.

"Aw, don't be a baby," she hears the teasing murmur come somewhere from between her thighs, followed by a quick kiss to her injured area.

"You bit me!"

"I gave you a love nip," Callie responds amusedly, clicking her tongue before going back to lie beside her blonde partner. "Besides, you scratch me like every time we have sex."

"Barely."

"I have scars!" Callie asserts exasperatedly even though she can't help the sleepy smile that takes over her lips. She scoots closer to Arizona under the covers, pinching the woman's stomach gently. The blonde only rolls her eyes before knocking Callie's hand away. Callie sighs at the familiarity before sliding her hand to grip teasingly at her ex-wife's knee.

"Alright," she drawls playfully, "What do I have to do, baby?" The words come out easily and teasingly, but Arizona can't stop herself from melting at the term of endearment. She turns her head toward her lover, only to find the woman's head intimately close to her own. She feels her ex's hand moving smoothly up and down her leg, dipping every now and then between her thighs.

"Calliope," The blonde lets out a shuddering breath before rolling her eyes at herself.

Still?

How does that still work on her? Callie says something sweet in the sultry, sexy voice, and she's practically puddy.

"I'm tired, and we both have work in the morning." She tries to be assertive and firm, but it comes out as a light moan because Callie's hand is wandering higher and higher up her thigh.

"Calliope!" she says again, this time though it spills out like a gasp. The brunette's hand finally reaching its destination. Callie leans over and kisses Arizona's jaw gently and the blonde trembles under her touch.

"I-I'm… tired," Arizona gasps her willpower slowly falling away as Callie works soft kisses up her throat.

"Mm," the brunette hums sexily against her skin, "I want to make you exhausted."

* * *

 ** _one year and two months ago._**

Sofia is sleeping. Her limp weight pressing warmly into Arizona's shoulder. Callie strokes the girl's back gently while simultaneously filling in her ex-wife.

"She's already eaten dinner and bathed, so don't worry about that. I brought the Koala book, so if she wakes up, it's in the bag. And um…" she taps her chin in thought, speaking quietly as not wake her tiny human, and Arizona can't help but smile affectionately, rocking the girl smoothly in her arms, "I probably won't be back until the morning, so…you don't have to wait up." She tacks it on like it doesn't mean as much as it does. But Arizona catches it immediately. Then, almost as if seeing the other woman in completion for the first time, the blonde's eyes narrow suspiciously. Callie's dressed up. She's wearing dark lipstick and eyeliner, and a dress that falls sexily above her knee.

She's going somewhere. With someone.

And she requires her ex-wife's babysitting services because she's going to be somewhere with a someone all night. Arizona feels something plummet in her stomach.

"Where are you headed?" the blonde tries to ask nonchalantly, her eyes still locked on Sofia's sleeping form.

"Well, ahem," Callie clears her throat awkwardly before giving Arizona a nervous smile, "there's this new Thai restaurant I've been wanting to try. So… I just thought I'd go there with a friend."

Arizona hums disbelievingly before lifting her head up to look at Callie. The brunette squirms a little under her gaze before finally huffing in resignation.

"I'm going on a date okay," she throws her hands up a little, though careful to remain quiet, "You caught me."

"I didn't realize you were hiding it," Arizona tacks on jokingly, but her eyes don't quite convey the humor.

"I'm not. I'm not," Callie reassures awkwardly before readjusting her purse, "I just…I don't know…this is weird." She finishes off her statement, gesturing in between herself and Arizona. The blonde simply shrugs, moving to sit on the couch with Sofia still in her arms. Callie follows quietly, sitting on the couch beside her ex. Arizona's apartment is small but nice. A perfect marriage recovery shack.

There's a moment of awkward silence before finally Arizona speaks.

"Isn't it a little soon?" she asks casually, looking over Callie's attire once more. She's beautiful. The brunette laughs lowly.

"We've been divorced for a year, Arizona."

"Oh wow," the blonde replies in faux-surprise before looking down toward her restful daughter, "we didn't realize Mommy was keeping track, did we? No, we didn't." Arizona looks back up with a silly glint in her eyes.

Callie rolls her eyes but smiles humoredly. The sit quietly for another moment before the conversation picks up again.

"So tell me about her," Arizona offers, a smile gracing her lips as she relaxes into the couch. Callie eyes her suspiciously.

"Really?" the brunette asks warily, cautious of their still fragile relationship, "Because we really don't have to do this-"

"You can tell me, Callie," Arizona asserts honestly, "you can always tell me." The brunette eyes her for a moment more in thought, still a bit guarded.

"Yeah?" she grapples for reassurance, and Arizona gives it easily.

"Yeah."

Callie readjusts in her seat, tilting her head down in consideration.

"Well, you'd like her," Callie starts, nodding at herself before smiling in thought, "She's funny and sharp and um, we don't just find the same things funny. We say the same thing at the same time. It's really-"

"Eh, okay," Arizona interrupts, her nose scrunched up a little, "you can dial back the enthusiasm."

"No, really," Callie continues anyway, smirking at blonde's reaction, "it's like we share the same brain."

"Eh, read the room," Arizona interrupts again, her smile becoming more of a grimace as Callie starts to blatantly laugh, "that's all I'm saying."

After a moment of laughing, the brunette holds her hands up in surrender, a bright smile plastered on her face.

"Well, all I'm saying is, you'd like her," she finishes, standing up from her seat before looking over at the clock hung above Arizona's television set. "And I'm going to be late, so…" She gestures toward the front door, and Arizona nods in understanding.

"Hope all goes well with uh…what's-her-name," Arizona finishes with a polite smile, and Callie tips her head graciously.

"Penny," she answers Arizona's unasked question, "Penny's her name."


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Okay guys, the comments were awesome. You guys are awesome. I'm trying to convey how intensely I enjoyed reading your input, but I don't feel like it's coming through. Also, THIS IS A CALZONA STORY. One comment said that I should label this Penny/Callie, and I have never been so offended in my life. I am DIEHARD Calzona. But if this story doesn't end Calzona, it's not because of any personal preference, it's because that's just the way it ended. But I'm pushing for Calzona though. Anyways, LEAVE COMMENTS, they fuel me._**

 ** _Love, Sugarkane._**

* * *

 _"_ _I want to be happy without you, Arizona."_

Callie flexes her hand open and close over the strap of her purse. Her eyes are scared and teary and pleading. And she can't seem to keep them on Arizona. So instead she looks at the damp asphalt of the sidewalk and shuffles back and forth slightly on her heels. It goes on like that for a moment or so, the two of them standing silently before finally Callie finds the voice to speak again.

"I just—I can't keep doing this with you. We break-up. We get back together. We break-up again. And nothing ever changes, Arizona. Nothing," she shakes her head defeatedly, holding her hands out like she's offering something before clasping them closed again, "I used to know why I fought for this. I used to know why…and now…I just don't know anymore—"

"It's because we love each other!"Arizona interrupts fiercely, angrily, pressing one hand flat against her chest. Her heart feels like it's imploding, and her first reaction is to take the defensive, is to fight Callie's rejection with every cell in her body.

But she knows that's not what the other woman needs right now.

That's not what Callie wants.

So instead of fighting, the blonde breathes deeply and steadies herself.

"We love each other, " She says again calmly, this time her voice trembling with certainty. Callie shakes her head a little, breathing out harshly into the frigid winter air.

"Is this love? Is this what other people feel like, Arizona?" The brunette lifts her eyes to stare desperately at her ex-wife, "It's just sometimes, I get it, you know, I-I look at you and…and I'm happy. Like stupidly happy. And all I want to hold your hand and be there for you. And I think, this is it. She's it for me."

Callie pauses, shaking her head in thought, and Arizona just stands, watching silently until her ex-wife continues.

"B-But then…" Callie stops again, clearing her throat uncomfortably, "But then you run off to Africa to pursue some dream that doesn't include me. Or cheat with some woman you barely know. And I just…I just wonder, is this really what love is—"

"Don't do that," Arizona interrupts quickly, shaking her head in frustration, "Don't make this all about me. Don't make this my fault."

"Ari-"

"No," the blonde interrupts again, moving closer to Callie, hands curled up in defiance, "you're right. I slept with another woman, and it sucks. But you know what, you slept with someone else too. And got _pregnant_ with his child," Arizona holds up a finger, silencing Callie's protests, "And it sucked. But I _forgave_ you for it, Calliope. Because I love you. And I love Sofia. I _forgave_ you."

"I know that-"

"Then why can't you do the same for me," Arizona pleads, stepping into her ex-wife's personal space, "Why can't you forgive me?"

The taller woman remains quiet, her eyes silently flitting from her lover's face to the overcast sky above.

"I'm trying. I've tried," Callie whispers honestly, running a defeated hand roughly through her hair.

"Try harder," Arizona breathes firm yet warm, taking her ex's hand in hers "Forgive me."

The brunette's face softens for a moment, a swoony kind of surrender that always seems fleeting these days. She looks down like she's trying to still herself against Arizona's pleas, like she's trying to remain certain of her choice, but after a moment her shoulders start to quaver and small wet tears begin trickling onto her dress.

And Arizona's never been able to stand idle when Callie's the one crying.

So almost immediately one hand is tugging at the brunette's waist as the other comes up to cup gently around her neck. Soon they are flush against each other, their damp foreheads pressed tenderly together, any illusion of space destroyed. Their lips hover quietly, a daunting yet familiar position.

"Why now?" Callie shakes her head slowly against Arizona's forehead, her breath hitching slightly as the blonde's hand comes up to cup gently at her cheek. "I gave you time, Arizona. I waited."

"I was scared. I didn't want to hurt you again. I don't want to hurt you again," Arizona whispers quietly, wetly, as her own tears stick in her throat. She places a soft kiss against Callie's forehead before wrapping the other woman in her arms completely. "I can't lose you again, Calliope."

Arizona pulls back just enough to look into her ex-wife's eyes.

"I love you," the blonde punctuates, kissing the brunette gently on the lips. Callie tenses immediately her eyes shutting tight. And Arizona can practically feel the other woman struggling against her own emotions.

Arizona kisses her again anyway, this time longer and harder, her tongue slipping out to skim over Callie's lip. She can feel the other woman trembling in her hands.

"You love me?"

The blonde asks the question asks the question so timidly and vulnerably that Callie's valiant resistance all but crumbles away completely. Of course, she loves her.

The meeting of their lips is wet

And desperate.

And hot.

Wonderfully rough with wanting. All these weeks of distance between the two women culminating in one fiery kiss.

And the question of love is answered. Not that it really had to be.

But from its resolution, a million much more difficult questions are born.

* * *

 ** _one year ago_**

Arizona loves Saturdays.

There's nothing particularly fascinating about the day itself. Like most other Seattle days, they're windy and foggy and wet, but Arizona has come to separate them from all the other days of the week.

She has come to wait for them.

Anticipate them.

Because Saturdays are family days.

Both Callie and Arizona's schedules allow them to be free (most of the time) in the evening, so they've started an unofficial tradition of spending the night together. Not in a 'romantic' sort of way. There is no cuddling with each other or making googly eyes over candlelight. It is just the three of them watching movies together or playing games together or eating dinner and listening to Sofia try to describe her day. It's family time. Pure and Innocent. And Arizona has some to treasure the happy routine.

Tonight is no different. The pediatric surgeon finishes up her rounds as quickly as possible (though she still isn't able to leave until around eight), and Callie follows closely behind. Soon enough, all three of them are cramped in Arizona's small kitchen. Callie at the stove. Sofia in her chair And Arizona at the dinner table, paperwork cluttered in front of her.

"He has liver lacerations and a postero-lateral herniated disc—"

"Jeez…the kid isn't even ten, yet," Callie interjects sympathetically while simultaneously lifting a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc up to her lips. Arizona notices the move, quirking her eyebrow in amusement at her ex-wife.

"Mama, look!" Sofia's voice cuts between the women, excited and loud, as she holds up a scribbled on sheet of paper, "I made this!" She says it proudly, jutting the paper forward toward her mom, and in return, the blonde smiles like it's the best thing she's ever seen.

"Oh, wow," she says affectionately, glancing over to her ex-wife who's watching over amusedly, "Look at that. Our daughter's a regular Picasso."

"Pick-a-so," Sofia repeats excitedly, and both women laugh, certain that the 4-year old has no idea who Picasso is.

"Draw me another picture," Arizona requests to which her daughter happily obliges, instantly going back to scribbling in her high chair. When certain her daughter is distracted, she once again directs her attention to Caliie.

"Rough day?" the blonde questions, gesturing toward the wine bottle still lazily dangling in Callie's grip. The brunette glances down at the bottle before smiling a bit embarrassedly and placing it back on the countertop.

"Something like that," she tosses her hand dismissively, glancing over at the fish that's still searing on the stove. Arizona appraises the woman silently for a moment more, smiling as the brunette roughly pushes her bangs away from her eyes.

"Are you going to tell me about it or…?"

"It's not a big deal," Callie shuts her down quickly, a small blush forming on her cheeks. Arizona tilts her head suspiciously, a mischievous smile taking over her face.

"Calliope," she prods lightly, but the brunette only rolls her eyes and remains silent.

"Was it work?"

"Arizona," Callie chides, displeased by the interrogation.

"What?" the blonde questions innocently, "We're friends. I tell you about my day. You can tell me about yours."

"There's nothing to tell. It was boring. I gave a 57 year-old man a hip replacement; that was my day," Callie huffs over the mixed vegetables she's been stirring on and off for the past ten minutes before tapping the wooden stirring spoon against the edge of the pot and lying it down on the counter.

"What about uh…whats-her-name?" Arizona pretends to think, and Callie rolls her eyes at the fallacy.

"It's Penny. You know her name."

"Did she do something? Is that why you're so on-edge—"

"No, no," Callie tries to assure her ex-wife, only to be interrupted by a squealing Sofia.

"I finished!" the giddy girl holds the paper up high, swinging it around so both of her moms can see it. This drawing is slightly different from the previous one in that it actually has distinguishable figures. There are three people lined up in front of a square house with a small dog lying beside them.

"This is you, mommy," she directs Callie's attention to the figure with black hair, "And mama, that's you." She points to the figure with yellow hair. "And this is me and our doggie." She points to herself and the dog. Both Callie and Arizona furrow their eyebrows at the last past.

"We don't have a dog, baby," Callie points out in confusion, and Sofia huffs loudly.

"I knowwww. I wan' a dog!" The four year-old looks at both of her moms pleadingly, and Arizona is wearing a weird, 'I don't want to say no but no' expression on her face, and Callie is too engrossed in how cute her daughter is to be concerned.

"Mommy, pleaseee," she drags out the plea, turning mostly to the ortho surgeon as if sensing that she's the weaker of the pair.

"Oh, no, no, cariño," Callie shakes her head at her daughter but can't help her little smile.

"Bu-But," the little girl starts again, but her mother simply turns away to meal she's preparing.

"How about you eat, and then we talk about it?" Callie offers placatingly, and Sofia huffs, pouting at both of her mothers, but she surprisingly doesn't argue. Arizona shoots the girl a sympathetic smile before turning her attention back to Callie.

"So what'd Penny do?" Arizona pushes teasingly, trying to get her ex-wife to reveal anything about the mystery woman she's been dating for two months.

"She did nothing," Callie answers, rolling her eyes at Arizona's obvious prodding.

"Then why are you so grumpy?"

"I'm not grumpy!" Callie asserts.

"Sofia, do you think Mommy is being a big grump?" Arizona turns her attention to the miniature version of Callie who practically buzzes at the opportunity to talk again.

"A big grump!" Sofia shouts excitedly, the pouty face from earlier completely forgotten. Callie rolls her eyes again, but she can't fight the smile taking over her lips.

"You're unbelievable."

Arizona shrugs, a cute little smirk on her face. "Are you going to tell me, or do I have to badger you all night?"

Callie eyes her for a moment before finally releasing an irritated sigh.

"Okay fine… I'll tell you, but afterwards, you have to drop it." Callie waits until the other woman nods in agreement to continue.

"Penny's a doctor, and I'm a doctor. And lately we've just been having a hard time…you know…spending time together."

Arizona tilts her head in confusion at the other woman's hesitancy. Her admission didn't like such a big deal…She misses spending time with her girlfriend; that's normal and expected.

It makes sense that she'd be frustrated and irritable and doing that thing where she twirls with her hair a lot. Arizona's seen Callie like this before. During that year after the plane crash and her leg amputation. The blonde remembers how petulant her ex-wife was then. Arizona smiles in thought. It was mostly because they weren't having sex though. Callie's a very voracious woman when it comes to sex. Whenever she's without it, she just…

 _Oh._

"Calliope!"

Arizona's eyes widen and her mouth forms an 'O', and Callie blushes and locks her hands behind her back.

"Really?" She questions in disbelief (but not really that much disbelief), "You've been a total pain to everyone because you're not getting lai—"

"Sofia is here!" Callie interrupts quickly.

"I here!" Sofia yells innocently, throwing her hands up in the air and giggling. Arizona starts laughing along with her for much different reasons, and Callie's face gets redder and redder.

"Now, you have to drop it," the brunette says in a low whisper, and her ex-wife surrenders easily, shoulders still shaking in amusement.

* * *

Later that night, after Sofia's been reluctantly tucked in, Arizona and Callie linger around the kitchen, sharing a bottle of white wine and one piece of red velvet cake.

"Do you ever think it's weird that we hang out?" Callie mumbles as she licks a dab of icing from her finger. Arizona hums in consideration.

"We don't really hang out…outside of Sofia," Arizona says, shrugging as she takes a sip from her wineglass. "But if we did, it wouldn't be that weird."

"Exactly," the taller woman agrees, picking up the almost empty bottle from the dinner table and bringing it to her lips. Arizona eyes her in amusement.

"You know I have other glasses, right?"

The taller smiles cheekily before taking another sip from the bottle and returning it to the table.

"I think Penny thinks it's weird that we hang out," Callie says absently, running her tongue along her teeth,"She hasn't said anything about it, but whenever I mention us and Sofia spending time together, she gets this look on her face like she wants to say something…"

Arizona considers the other woman's words for a moment, trying to remain as impartial as possible. "Well," she starts finally after a few lingering seconds of silence, "I kinda understand it. When we first started dating and you were spending all that time with Mark, it drove me a little crazy sometimes...probably worse for her though. I mean, you actually married me."

Callie hums in thought before scrunching up her mouth a little. "I also divorced you so…"

"Low blow!" Arizona laughs, shaking her head before pushing scoldingly at her slightly tipsy wife's shoulder. Callie snorts in return, resting her chin lazily in her palm.

"The point stands regardless," Arizona says, taking a long swallow from her glass before continuing, "Which mean you were interested in me enough to marry me—"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you now," Callie interjects bluntly, and Arizona scrunches her nose in faux-offense.

"Guess we're being honest tonight—

"I mean," Callie interrupts, ignoring her ex-wife's comment, "You're hot still…of course…but I wouldn't…" She glances at her ex-wife, her sentence kind of drawing out unfinished. Her brown eyes flick over Arizona's face before dipping down to her chest. They sit there for a long moment before lazily flitting away.

Arizona smirks a little embarrassedly at the obvious move.

"You just Sloaned me!" she laughs loudly.

"No!"

"You totally did."

"Whatever," Callie waves her hand around, red tingeing her cheeks, "I'm drunk; I need to leave."

A sudden wave of disappointment washes over Arizona, and she's pretty sure she knows why.

She loves Saturdays.

And when Callie leaves, this Saturday will official be over.

And she really doesn't want Callie to leave.

"Or…" Arizona says, following Callie as the other woman rises from her chair, "You could just…I don't know…crash here?"

* * *

 ** _Present_**

Arizona's hands are palming Callie's ass by the time a horrified gasp breaks the two apart. Behind them on the sidewalk, donned in jeans and striped crew top shirt, is Penny. Eyes already filling with tears, cheeks red with shock. She's muttering something wet and teary and hurt. And Callie looks like she's just been blindsided by a train.

And Arizona, for her part, looks guilty and sorry.

But that doesn't matter because almost immediately after Penny turns her eyes toward the blonde, she turns away and begins walking in the other direction.


	3. Flashback Attack

**_A/N: Alrighty this is a lot of backstory and I think you guys will like it, I totally loved writing it. Also, THE COMMENTS WERE GREAT. One comment called me Shonda, and I laughed so freaking hard. I can't tell you how the story will end because omg, then what's the point of reading. Please, just stick in it anyway, and enjoy it. And Also, the story kind of writes itself, you know, not really about what I want._**

 ** _Finally I'll leave you with a Shonda Rhimes quote: "We are on a journey. This is a part of that journey. Trust the journey."_**

* * *

 ** _eleven months and 2 weeks and 5 days ago_**

Callie shows up to Arizona's condo unannounced, the warm summer rain sliding easily down her thin hoary raincoat. Her hair is sticking almost humorously to the sides of her face, the normally voluptuous strands now weakened and flat from the rain's beating.

Callie barely registers them though; she came here for one reason and one reason only. It takes a minute of heavy knocking before that reason finally answers the door, a perplexed look adorning her face.

"I'm not a cheater," the soaked brunette says as soon as the door fully opens, rain still dripping steadily from the tip of her nose.

"I don't cheat…what happened the other night was a mistake," she asserts, though her voice wavers without her permission, a hint of frustrated tears dotting the corners of her eyes.

It's an odd sight.

Calliope Torres soaking wet and on the brink of tears.

But Arizona swallows her surprise as best she can, watching as the dark-haired beauty fights off a lingering sob.

"Uh what?" the blonde asks a bit dumbly, only to be promptly glared at by the other woman.

"The other night…we were drunk," the taller woman excuses lowly, looking to her ex-wife for reassurance. Arizona can only look away and shrug.

"I wasn't that drunk…"

"Arizona!"

"What?" the blonde widens her eyes, throwing both of her hands up in surrender, "What do you want me to say? I have to be drunk to sleep with you? Because I don't, Callie. I really don't."

The taller woman lets out a loud scoff, pressing both of her hands roughly against her face. "You're not helping," she mumbles wetly through the cracks in her fingers, and Arizona grimaces guiltily in return.

"I know…I'm sorry." Her voice comes out soft and apologetic as she reaches slowly for Callie's wrists, pulling the woman's hands away from her face. "What I'm trying to say is," Arizona starts again, looking comfortingly into her ex-wife's eyes, "You're beautiful, and we had sex…but it doesn't have to mean anything."

Callie's eyebrows furrow in disagreement, but Arizona squeezes her wrist gently, stopping the protests.

"You and Penny aren't even exclusive yet, right?"

Callie's eyes flit away in thought. "We haven't really talked about it—"

"Then you're not cheating…" Arizona affirms comfortingly, smiling even as the other woman rolls her eyes at the technicality. "How are you here alone, by the way?" Arizona questions, looking around Callie in search of the woman's tiny replica, "Is Sofia in the car or something?"

The brunette shakes her head quickly, wiping any excess tears from her eyes before stepping more fully under the coverage of Arizona's overhanging roof.

"She's sleeping over at Mer. She had a playdate with Zola."

"Ah…"

Arizona nods in thought, tapping her chin lightly.

"So I guess we're both free, huh…" she hints smoothly, playfully wiggling her eyebrows. Callie glares disapprovingly, but it quickly falls away to a smile.

"God, I am never having sex with you again," she shakes her head like she's ridding herself of a bad memory, even as her smile steadily grows, "Never."

* * *

 ** _eleven months and one weeks ago_**

There are exactly two sounds in the storage room.

Low, raspy panting.

And the hard rustling of plastic containers being continuously banged against.

"Oh, fuck," Callie whimpers into Arizona's shoulder, shuddering roughly as the other woman presses soft kisses into her neck.

"I forgot how sexy you sound," she rasps slowly into the taller woman's ear, holding tightly as the exhausted woman releases one last shiver. It takes a couple of minutes for both of them to recuperate and untangle from each other. And then another long moment for them to find their haphazardly discarded clothes.

"This is never happening again," Callie mutters hurriedly to her ex-wife before pulling her scrub top over her head. Arizona rolls her eyes, certain the move is concealed in the dimness of the danky storage closet. They've been doing this cat and mouse thing for almost a week. Something happens, clicks, and they end up naked and sweaty on top of each other. And then afterwards, Callie gets this pitiful, guilt-stricken look. Like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Arizona doesn't really have any qualms about the whole arrangement.

On some level she realizes that it's not really helping their relationship, and that it's not exactly 'right'.

But on another, more primal level, she admits that having sex with Callie is deeply, deeply satisfying.

And she can't really stop herself from wanting it, having it.

It's kind of a 'potato chip' situation.

No one ever stops at the first taste.

No one ever stops at just one.

But eventually the bag will run out, and the fun will stop. And they will both slowly detach from each other the way divorced couples tend to do. But for now, they continue this little routine in which Callie mutters something regretful when it's over. And Arizona nods reassuringly, quietly awaiting the next time they'll fall into each other's arms.

"Whatever you say, Calliope."

* * *

 ** _10 months ago_**

"Thank god! Dr. Torres, I've been looking everywhere for you," Arizona projects urgently, quickly approaching from the other side of the hall. Callie turns toward her distractedly, still wedged halfway in-between conversation with a nurse. An unintentional smile graces her lips at the sight of her ex-wife.

"I'm going to need an ortho consult for the patient in room 22," the blonde says hurriedly, her hair swaying messily as she makes the final quick steps to her ex-wife.

"But wait, what about Mr. Clemons?" the nurse interjects, sensing that he's about to be all but forgotten.

"Just check his legs for any signs of yellowing, and if he feels pain in his knee, page me." The instructions come out in a preoccupied mutter as Callie eyes the quickly approaching blonde

"But what about his bandages. Aren't the cleaning scheduales different for each—"

"Um yeah, I'm sorry, but can you hold on for a second?" she requests, smiling apologetically at the clearly irritated nurse before turning her attention completely to Arizona.

"What's the issue?" she questions earnestly as the worried blonde juts the patient's chart over to her.

"See for yourself." Callie takes the chart quickly, skimming over the first page until her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"I don't get it," she looks up from the chart. "This looks like a simple Cholecystectomy."

"Does it?" Arizona tilts her head innocently. "Check out the second page," she suggests, gesturing toward the clipboard.

Callie follows obediently, nibbling the inside of her cheek as she flips up the first two pages only to find a yellow sticky note with the question 'On-Call room?' written in Arizona's surprisingly messy handwriting.

They've only been at work for two hours.

Two hours.

And the blonde is already in the mood.

Callie shoots her ex-wife a small, knowing smirk before quickly wiping it away.

"Ah, yes," she says in overly professional voice, "This seems pretty serious, Dr. Robbins." She notices the nurse trying to steal a peek at the chart and quickly pushes it against her chest.

"We need to get in there stat!" Callie affirms overdramatically before hastily grabbing Arizona's arm and starting down the hall.

"B-But wait," the nurse yells after them, "What about the bandages?"

"Change them every five hours," the orthopedic surgeon throws over her shoulder as her blonde partner-in-crime shoots the guy a contrite, dimpled smile.

When they finally make it to the room, Arizona all but pins Callie against the wall.

"I have a chondroplasty in 30," the brunette moans out as she feels Arizona's nimble fingers slipping under the waistband of her pants. The blonde smirks cockily, dipping her mouth to hover over her ex-wife's ear.

"I'll have you done in 15."

* * *

 ** _nine months ago_**

"Callie," Arizona yells excitedly as she shuffles into the house, a bottle of tequila in one hand and box of chocolate turtles in the other.

It's the first time in two weeks the two women have been able to be alone together…apparently Callie's relationship with Penny is becoming more and more exclusive by the second. And with that exclusivity comes less and less time for Arizona.

Which is fine the blonde tells herself.

She always knew the month-long sex parade with Callie was going to end at some point; it was just matter of time.

In fact, she herself had told the brunette on several occasions that what they were doing didn't have to have meaning or commitment…it was like a friends with benefits type of deal. Except they were divorced and shared a child.

It didn't really occur to Arizona that ever since she started having sex with Callie again, all her attempts to date other people had ceased completely. Maybe it was because her need for sexual fulfillment was being quelled by daily hook-ups in on-call rooms…or storage closets…or sometimes atop Arizona's kitchen counter if they could make it there.

They had packed so much sex in that tiny month span that when Callie suddenly became too busy for their 'appointments' it was like being doused with cold water.

And maybe that was good.

Maybe Arizona needed to start looking elsewhere for companionship, for passion, but with Callie, it was just so easy.

Falling back in bed with her was like taking a breath. Effortless.

And falling out of bed with her was like waking up Christmas morning and finding all the gifts had been stolen.

It sucked.

And it made Arizona sulky. And irritable

So when she got a text from Callie at 11 o'clock at night asking her to come over with a bottle of tequila and chocolate turtles, she was pretty excited.

Except she had totally, totally misinterpreted it.

And when she opens up Callie's bedroom door, expecting to find the brunette sexily lain out atop her mattress, she finds instead a sickly, red-nosed beauty, curled up around her equally sick daughter.

"Uh…" Arizona stands a bit shell-shocked in the doorway as Sofia sneezes loudly.

"Mama," the little girl whines, fingers rubbing softly at her nose, "It hurtss."

The blonde drops the candies and tequila on the bed so quickly, they nearly bounce off the covers and onto the floor. Almost instantly, she's knelt beside the bed, her hand laid gently against her daughter's forehead. "Tell Mama what's wrong," she coos concernedly, stroking her daughter's hair gently away from her eyes.

"We have a stomach virus," Callie answers for her, though it comes out as more of a loud whimper. "Did you bring the tequila?"

Arizona shakes her head in disbelief. "You can't drink that with the stomach flu! Alcohol is a diuretic; it'll only make it worse."

"But it hurtss," Callie groans, mimicking her daughter. Arizona rolls her eyes at the antic, giving the brunette a placating pat on the shoulder before finally standing up.

"Do you girls have soup?" the blonde sighs, resigning herself to the fact that she's going to have to play nurse for the rest of the night. Two heads nod in unison.

* * *

They're all lying in bed, Sofia in the middle and her two mothers curled around her. There are two half-finished bowls of soup on the nightstand and one empty pack of crackers beside them. Arizona's rubbing lightly against her daughter's tummy, listening contently as Callie groans over an episode of Law and Order.

"This is totally not how I expected my night to go," the blonde sighs in amusement.

"Sorry," Callie rasps in response, smiling sympathetically at her ex-wife, "we needed someone to take care of us, didn't we cariño," she nudges Sofia softly, and the girl nods sleepily in return.

"Well, not that I don't enjoy being your nurse, but don't you have a girlfriend that's supposed to cuddle you back to health or something."

Callie sighs grumpily. "I don't want her to see me like this. We're not at that stage yet."

Arizona furrows her brow in disapproval, turning her head toward her ill ex-wife. "You've been dating her for five months—"

"I know, I know," Callie admits, flicking her wrist dismissively, "I'm just taking my time…"

"Besides," the brunette continues after moment, "My love life isn't the one you should be worried about."

Arizona makes a face, and Callie hums like she's figured something out. "You haven't dated anyone seriously since our divorce…and as much as I enjoy having you at my beck and call," the brunette smiles, lifting a hand to pet affectionately at her ex-wife's cheek, "I think you need to start seeing other people."

* * *

 ** _Seven months ago_**

Arizona's recently come to the conclusion that she hates dating.

She hates making small talk with strangers.

She hates the smell of foreign sweat on her skin.

She hates sharing her bed with women who don't know that she likes to be the big spoon.

Or chatting with long-legged vixens who don't get goo goo eyes when they see pictures of Sofia.

She hates it. And she doesn't know why she hates it because she used to live for that crap.

She used to have a different woman in her bed every week like it was a natural rotation. It used to entertain her. It used to satisfy her.

But now, at the end of the night, all those companions do is leave her empty.

But she doesn't dwell on it. She keeps picking up women in local bars and taking them home in hopes that she, like Callie, will find someone worth committing to. The closest she's gotten is a dermo nurse named Jennifer. She's nice to eat lunch with; she doesn't talk too much or too loudly. She holds Arizona's hand sometimes but not long enough to make her palms sweat.

She's perfect in the general sense. Tall, with black hair, and sexy curves.

A lot like Callie.

But Arizona doesn't dwell on that fact either.

They match, and for now, matching is all Arizona can hope for.

Until one afternoon, after wrapping up a lunch with Jennifer in the cafeteria, she's yanked by familiar hands into an unoccupied conference room.

Almost immediately she's hoisted up onto the large, wooden table, her scrub cap flung somewhere across the room. Plump red lips press up against hers as a firm leg slips between her knees. Arizona barely has time to register what's happening before she's panting and topless, splayed out with a warm body atop hers.

"C-Callie?" she moans out the question as the brunette continues making a trail of kisses down her throat.

"Mhm," the brunette's hums lowly, pulling back just enough to press a rough kiss against Arizona's mouth.

"What's...happening?" she pants, trying to focus even as the other woman continues to grind into her. Callie pushes her bangs from her face quickly before kissing Arizona again.

"Nothing," she responds breathlessly, "Just having fun."

The blonde furrows her eyebrows in confusion before pressing her hands firmly against her ex-wife's chest. Not enough to push the brunette away, just enough to stop her assault. The heavy contact is making it hard for Arizona to focus.

"What's going on, Callie?" Arizona asks again, this time a little more firmly.

"Nothing," she maintains, her eyes widening in faux-naivety, "Why? Is something going on with you?"

Arizona shakes her head, still a little confused by Callie's sudden onslaught of affection.

"You know you don't have to lie to me, right?"

"Uh…yeah," Arizona says perplexed, and still mildly aware that Callie's knee is pressing teasingly against her.

"So…you're not dating that derm nurse?"

Callie tries to ask it nonchalantly, but her fake, overly-stretched smile gives her away. Arizona's eyes narrow suspiciously, and the orthopedic surgeon quickly tries to recover.

"I mean, I'm just curious because you haven't mentioned her and you know…everyone sees the two of you together…all the time…not that I care…"

Arizona's forehead wrinkles in realization.

"Oh my god, you're jealous."

"No—"

"You're irrationally, obviously jealous—"

"No, I'm not," Callie lifts up from her ex a little, denial lacing her features. "I'm just curious. I can't be curious about you?"

"Jennifer and I are casually dating each other. You told me to see other people."

Callie's crunches her face up. "I meant other surgeons, you know. Not a freaking derm nurse."

Arizona raises her eyebrows at the woman before laughing so loudly Callie has to put her hand over the blonde's mouth until she stops.

"Oh, how the tables have turned," Arizona woman breaths amusedly, and Callie rolls her eyes in annoyance.

"I was just wondering about you. I'm not jealou—"

"Yeah whatever," Arizona cuts in, laughter still in her voice, "you basically attacked me."

"I thought you like it when I'm…proactive," Callie rasps lowly, trying obviously to change the subject. And it kind of works. Arizona shivers involuntarily and her hips buck up against the other woman's thigh.

"I d-do," she shudders out, her heart picking up pace as her ex-wife begins pressing deliciously into her

"Oh…I really do."

* * *

 ** _five months ago_**

Callie is the first one to stumble out of the on-call room, her hands fidgeting self-consciously with her now messy hair. She tries her best to look casual as she straightens her shirt and wipes any smudged lipstick from her mouth, but as soon as she spots Bailey walking in her direction from the other end of the hall, she knows she's been caught. The other woman's eyes narrow suspiciously, and her lips do that knowing pucker thing they always do when she's about to give you a lecture.

"Callie Torres," she calls scoldingly, eyeing the woman up and down, "Everyone's been paging you. Derek needs a consult."

"Uh," Callie clears her throat awkwardly, looking down at the nonexistent watch on her wrist, "I really have to scrub in for a shoulder replacement. Can you tell Derek we have to postpone?"

Bailey's eyes narrow even more as her chin sort of tilts back in a reprimanding parent way. "I don't suppose that nice girl you're dating dropped in for a visit today."

Callie's jaw clenches embarrassedly at the mention of Penny. "Uh…no…she didn't. Why?"

"Because your shirt's on backwards—"

At that moment, Arizona decides to emerge from the on-call room, probably figuring that Callie was long gone by now, and she could leave without drawing any unwanted attention.

But as soon as she sees Bailey, her eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. "Ahem," the blonde looks uneasily between both women, a nervous smile uncertain on her lips, "Hi, Bailey! We uh… Callie and I, we were just—"

"Arizona," Bailey cuts her off firmly, shooting the blonde no-nonsense look. Arizona shuts up immediately, eyes flitting over to Callie like a frightened child.

"Whatever the two of you were doing," she says slowly, holding up a silencing finger when Callie tries to interject, "I don't know, and I don't care. Just stop it." She warns it sternly, shaking her head in disappointment at the two women.

"We weren—" Arizona tries to explain again but is quickly cut off.

"No, no, no," Bailey asserts firmly, looking tiredly at the blonde "I really don't want to know…just cut it out." She shakes her head at them again before sticking her hands roughly in her pockets.

"I'll tell Derek that you have a surgery," she finishes professionally, turning away from the two mortified women and trekking back down the hallway.

* * *

 ** _five months ago_**

Callie shows up to Arizona's condo unannounced again. This time though, it's a clear warm night. The wetness on her face cannot be disguised by plummeting raindrops or loose hair strains.

She's crying. Sobbing.

And she does not hesitate to fall into Arizona's arms.

"W-We broke up," she stutters out, her body shuddering against her ex-wife's, "She said she wanted a break."

* * *

 ** _four months ago_**

They are always together.

Always.

At work. At home. Everywhere.

They're always together.

And it feels kind of like when they first started dating, but better. Because they're not trying to learn each other.

They're not going in blind and feeling their way around. They just know. They know when to talk. They know when to be silent. And they don't say it, but the connection that seemed so long ago buried under horrific traumas and unfortunate accidents is slowly edging back up. With every night they spend together.

Just knowing each other.

And with every night they spend cuddled in bed or tucking Sofia in or making out to some stupid romcom, Arizona becomes more and more certain. That after everything they've been though, after every battle they've fought, she's still in love with Callie.

She's still stupidly in love with Callie.

And sometimes, she feels the other woman staring at her, waiting for her to make the move. Waiting for her to say the words.

But. Arizona fears changing this, fears losing Callie again to what always inevitably happens with them…so she remains quiet.

Even as the words as dying to come out.

* * *

 ** _three months ago_**

Arizona still can't tell her.

She just can't.

And it's not for lack of words either because in all honesty ever since Callie came crying to her doorstep with the news that Penny and she were taking a 'break', the words have been sitting heavily in her chest.

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

 _Be with me._

But they just can't come out. No matter how fervently she tries, how meticulously she plans.

Every stroll through the park.

Every movie night cuddle session.

Every candlelit dinner.

None of it feels good enough.

None of it feels right.

She just wants to tell Callie that she's ready….that all her life she's been running from things and people and places, and now for the first time, the only thing she wants to do is stay.

That being with Callie is like coming up for air. Coming up for air when she didn't even realize she was drowning.

But she couldn't say it…even in all those perfectly perfect moments, she couldn't. She let fear and uncertainty sit inside her throat and stop all those pretty love-struck words from tumbling out.

And now, in a rather ironic twist of fate, the one place she feels most ready to admit all her feelings is here.

In her living room, on Christmas Eve.

Where there is no candlelight to sit by or manicured park to walk through.

It's a catastrophe of plastic tree limbs and unused wrapping paper. The smell of shortbread. And coffee. And chilly December sticking in the air like smog. Sofia's poorly-wrapped presents are scattered haphazardly around the living room, and nothing about this is romantic.

Nothing about here is perfect.

But for some reason, the two of them laughing exhaustedly on Arizona's living room carpet feels right.

Feels perfect.

"Callie," Arizona sighs contentedly, one of her hands wandering lazily against the carpeting in search of Callie's, "Don't take this the wrong way, I really enjoy having you help out, but…you're kinda terrible at wrapping gifts."

Callie snorts amusedly, swiping one hand lethargically at the air.

"As far as Sofia knows, Santa's terrible at wrapping gifts. Mommy gets her gifts wrapped at the mall."

Arizona rolls her eyes, affection blooming in her chest. "Ah, you're smart," she whispers happily, finally wrapping her hand around Callie's. "I missed this."

The brunette hums in agreement, squeezing Arizona's hand softly. "Yeah, Christmas without you is a lot less fun."

Arizona tilts her head toward her ex-wife, loving how calm the woman looks. "That isn't really what I meant," she admits evenly.

"Hm," Callie hums turning toward her with a tired, cocky smirk, "You're not getting a crush on me are you, Robbins?" she jokes.

Arizona huffs dramatically like she's surrendering something she wouldn't willingly give before finally smiling back.

"A gigantic crush."

"Ah, knew it," Callie exclaims jokingly, squeezing her ex-wife's hand affectionately before turning back toward the ceiling. "It's too bad though," the brunette whispers after a moment, her eyes sleepily shut, "I'm a committed woman now."

The world shifts. Arizona's eyelids fly apart; she hadn't even realized they were closed. "You're a what?" she rasps, suddenly bone-chillingly sober.

"Yeah, didn't you hear?" Callie smiles at the ceiling, "Penny and I are back together."


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:Hey guys, the comments as always were fantastic. But I'm sort of seeing this recurring theme which is odd because it's really, really special to the Calzona fandom(I think). I don't know if it's because the fans of Calzona love the characters separate as well together or if the way they broke up caused the shippers to take sides. But some people already want me to totally break them up. I laugh when I read those comments because they're awesome but at the same time guys, this is a Calzona fanfiction. Also guys, I have a few Penny/Callie scenes in here because it was necessary. Anyways ENJOY.**_

 _ **Love, SugarKane**_

* * *

A cold wind swishes uncomfortably around Callie's face as she clamors up the sidewalk, gaining quickly on Penny's retreating figure.

"Please stop," she pleads, loud enough to make a few lingering pedestrians turn and watch. Arizona is meandering slowly behind her, hands in pockets, blond strands leisurely straggling around her face. She looks a bit resigned with some remnant of worry.

Worry that Callie may really love Penny.

Worry that maybe everything is about to change.

Worry that all three of them will catch pneumonia from being out in the cold so long.

She grunts a little in her throat as she watches her ex-wife finally latch onto the arm of her lover, decisively pulling the redhead to a halt.

"Penny, please talk to me," she requests, guilt and remorse shaking in her vocal cords. The other woman only shakes her head slowly, one tired hand coming to wipe at her eyes. It takes a few moments of silent pleading before the redhead finally turns to her fiancé, a betrayed look adorning her features as she rips her arm out of the brunette's grasp.

"Penny —"

"I knew," Penny shakes her head again before releasing a sad, self-depreciating laugh. "I knew!"

She tilts her head toward the sky , pressing one hand roughly against her own chest. "You were just…always half-there, you know. Always half-mine. A-And I knew…I knew what that meant. But I kept pushing that feeling away like a freaking idiot because I was _so_ sure you'd never do that to me… But you know what, I think I knew, anyway… I think I knew."

Arizona is hovering quietly, listening as both tearful women fall apart on the sidewalk. The blonde isn't particularly close to the altercation, but Penny isn't particularly quiet.

Or forgiving.

Even as Callie eyes the woman brokenly, doe-eyed and lost. She's never been on this side of the argument. She's never been the one who's inexcusably wrong.

And now she is.

Now, she's the enemy. The monster. The cheat.

And all she can do is mutter apologies as her fiancé swats them away.

There's simply no consolation in the word 'sorry'.

"You know the funny thing, though," Penny says, moving one hand to push roughly at the loose strands of her ponytail, "I still love you."

Callie's eyes widen even more at the woman's easy admittance, but the redhead simply shrugs, the nonchalant gesture fitting incongruously with the tears slowly edging from her eyes.

"But my love was never the question, was it?"

* * *

 ** _One year and three months ago_**

It's 6 o'clock in the morning. And Callie's meandering leisurely into a coffee shop. _Franco's Brew_. The sky looks young and vibrant, the leftover oranges of sunrise still spilling lethargically against its canvas. Traffic is heavy but not heavy enough to pollute the air with a cacophony of horns and tire screeches, and Callie silently thanks God for that…for mornings like this.

There's a natural smile pulling at the brunette's lips. It's simple and unconscious, and Callie probably has no idea how beautiful it looks. Or how vibrant she is against the backdrop of the monochromatic coffee shop interior. But a redhead, waiting patiently for her order by the counter, notices immediately. She stands in silent interest as the other woman flips errant curly strands away from her face, her eyes calmly scanning over the menu.

She wants to say 'hi' or something else awkwardly normal, but all she can really do is look on quietly, the tiny fear of embarrassment sitting in her gut. She hasn't dated in years. Since her second year of med school to be exact. And she has no idea how to be smooth with a woman.

So instead of trying, she just waits silently for her coffee and Danish, listening as the other patron orders a cappuccino and a scone. Penny gets her order soon after the brunette has finished, and reluctantly, she turns toward the exit, smiling in happy surprise when the other woman flashes her a grin of acknowledgment and a short, simple wave.

Penny returns the gesture happily before continuing out of the door, a little warmth settling in her chest.

She looks up at the warm, ginger sky, silently thanking God for the morning. And the coffee. And the stranger with the pretty smile.

* * *

 ** _Present_**

"Are you in love with me?" the redhead asks simply, and Arizona leans forward unconsciously. Her fingers anxiously ride up to her lips, pressing at the skin. Callie does the exact opposite. She leans back like she's been struck, her eyes widening more than they already were, her fingers grasping at the bottom of her coat. And she wants to say yes.

Because Penny is kind. And beautiful. And selfless.

She's easy to love.

To be in love with.

She would never cheat on Callie.

Or resent her.

Or break her heart.

Or leave.

Because that's just not how she functions.

She's easy in that way.

She's easy to love.

But Callie can't say yes.

The cold slips into her shoes and makes her shuffle uncomfortably. Her fingers itch against her pockets.

The difference between 'love' and 'in love' is so slight. One word. One tiny preposition can turn a heartfelt declaration into a lie. And Callie doesn't want to lie anymore. It's not fitting. It's not in her nature.

Penny deflates at the silence.

"Are you in love with her?" the redhead flicks her hand toward Arizona who's peering at the two with curious, waiting eyes. And Callie clenches her jaw at the question, her gaze flitting away from Penny for a moment before tumbling back.

She wants to say no.

She really, really wants to say no.

Because every neuron in her brain is telling her 'no' is the only plausible answer.

Arizona's a know-it-all. And she squeezes tooth paste tubes from the top. And she steals random t-shirts from Callie's dresser and wears them as pajamas.

And she cheated.

And she lied.

And she broke Callie's heart a million different ways.

And Callie wants to say 'no…I'm not in love with her'.

But instead her head bows, and her lips tremble. And the only thing she can say is yes.

 _Yes_

Penny releases one more humorless laugh as tears start to freely spill from her eyes.

"And I still love you," she spits out through her teeth before finally blowing out a harsh breath and pushing her hands into her pockets. "I still love you."

The two stand there for a moment or two more before the redhead finally turns around and continues walking down the sidewalk. This time Callie doesn't follow.

* * *

 ** _Two months and twenty-seven days ago_**

Law and Order mumbles indiscernibly in the background, the TV spilling fluorescent light onto the bed sheets and wall. Arizona's already asleep, her arm thrown lazily around Callie's waist as her nose nuzzles into the brunette's shoulder.

 _She likes to be the big spoon._

It was funny. Months ago the fact would have been a distant memory. A hazy trivial detail that Callie no longer needed to know. Arizona wasn't hers.

But now, tonight, cuddled in the other woman's arms, Callie can't seem to focus on much of anything else.

 _Arizona likes to be the big spoon._

Penny didn't like to spoon at all. She'd maybe tug the brunette close for a moment or mumble sweet nothings into the crook of her neck. But eventually, when the need for intimacy was fulfilled, the redhead would untangle herself from Callie and move back to her designated spot on the other side of the bed. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It was just so strikingly different from Arizona who never stayed on her side of the bed.

Who wound her legs up with Callie's and pressed her chest flush against the woman's back. Cheek to hair. Lips to neck.

It was weird and close and Callie had almost forgotten it.

But this past month was full of remembering.

Of hand holding. And movie nights. And family dinners.

And spooning.

And Callie remembers exactly why she fell in love with Arizona. She remembers why cuddling this closely with anyone else would feel stifling.

She remembers why her heart used to be so full of affection for the other woman that there was no room for herself.

And she also remembers what it was like without those arms wrapped around her.

She remembers coming home to a zombie who wouldn't get out of bed. Or take a shower. Or eat.

She remembers being alone in her dead best-friend's bed. And Derek's trusting smile as he placed the future of his "million-dollar" hand in her palms.

She remembers feeling so scared. And so alone. And unable to tell anyone because everyone around her had been in a plane crash.

They had literally been on the brink of death in the middle of nowhere for four days.

So Callie didn't get to be scared. She didn't get to be hurt.

Arizona readjusts her hold on the other woman, slipping her hand innocently up Callie's shirt and resting it gently against the brunette's stomach. Callie shivers involuntarily at the contact, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again. Just then, on the night stand, she sees her cell phone screen light up. She stretches for it the best she can without disturbing the sleeping blonde wrapped around her. By the time she finally retrieves the phone, the screen has dimmed back to black, and she has to quietly click the power button.

There on the screen is a message from Penny. Her ex?

Well, the woman who said they needed a break and then vanished from the face of the Earth.

And the message reads plainly.

 _We need to talk._

* * *

 ** _Present_**

Callie stands stock still, watching exhaustedly as Penny finally rounds the corner out of sight. She can practically hear Arizona thinking behind her, feet shuffling, fingers nervously tapping.

But Callie has no desire to talk tonight.

About them. Or their future. Or anything.

Because she just broke a woman's heart. And that warrants some silence.

"Uh…wow," Arizona breaths out a bit dumbly, looking on empathetically as Callie turns around, a blank look on her face. She watches concernedly as the woman blinks away any remnants of tears from her eyes, wanting desperately to say something consoling. But the right words never really come. And Callie begins walking silently toward the car she parked a couple of streets away. Arizona follows her naturally, quietly assessing the woman's state. The brunette hears the other woman's steady footsteps and sighs in irritated affection. Of course, Arizona is following.

"You know, you don't have to walk me to my car," Callie says plainly without breaking her stride. The blonde simply purses her lips, shrugging a tiny bit even though the other woman can't very well see the gesture.

"I like walking…it's uh good for the calves," she responds easily, light humor in her voice. "Plus, I can't let you walk alone…" Arizona teeters off a bit before continuing quietly, "Who'd protect you from muggers…and what not…"

Callie smiles at this, affection sitting in her stomach. "I'd probably end up protecting you from muggers."

Arizona blows out a breath in faux-offense, silently happy that she's gotten the other woman to keep talking. "I'll have you know I took karate classes as a child."

Callie shakes her head, pursing her lips in humored skepticism. "Yeah, that doesn't really count," she unconsciously slackens her pace just a bit, lessening the distance between blonde and herself. Arizona narrows her eyes.

"Why not?"

"Well for one, you were ten. And secondly, you quit after like three months because you pulled a hamstring doing a roundhouse kick–"

"That hamstring thing was serious!" Arizona says exasperatedly, nudging Callie lightly with her shoulder, "I walked around with a limp for like 3 weeks."

"Well, you know what else is serious? Muggers…with guns," Callie says bluntly, smiling as the blonde huffs beside her. They walk like that for a couple more minutes, the mood much lighter, the quiet much more comfortable. Callie's car is in sight by the time Arizona breaks the silence again.

"I would take a bullet for you."

Callie looks over at the other woman, eyes glinting involuntarily.

"Very smooth," she mutters lowly, and Arizona throws her a smirk before tilting her head toward the vehicle parked on the curb. They've arrived, but the blonde isn't quite ready to say goodbye.

"My condo isn't far away…if you don't want to be alone tonight," Arizona offers lightly, "No strings. You could just come and sleep."

Callie bites her bottom lip for a bit, considering the offer before finally shaking her head no. "I think I need to be alone tonight."

Arizona nods in understanding though she can't quite hide her disappointment as Callie gets into her car, waves goodbye, and leaves.

* * *

Two weeks of silence passes.

Not to say they didn't continue sharing Sofia.

Or consulting during work when necessary.

But the discussion of a relationship never really came up.

Or they never really let it.

But today at work, while Callie was casually eyeing Arizona over a stack of patient charts, a tiny nagging thought pulled at her mind.

 _I miss her._

It started out soft and negligible, probably fighting to be heard over all the much louder feelings of guilt. How can she honestly think about getting in another relationship only two weeks after breaking up her engagement? It was just wrong.

But she couldn't help it.

 _I miss her._

She's broken out of her reverie by Bailey's hurried voice.

"Torres!" she projects loudly, and Callie watches as Arizona's eyes flick over to her, catching the brunette staring, "We need to talk."

The taller woman is too distracted by Arizona's slow, teasing smile and fluttering eyelashes to completely take notice of Bailey.

"Torres?" the woman calls again this time softer as her eyes flit concernedly between Callie and the blonde who's captured her attention, "You can make goo goo eyes at each other after work. Right now we need to talk."

Callie finally turns toward Bailey, an embarrassed blush reddening her cheeks. She knew everyone at the hospital kind of knew that her engagement had broken off, but Bailey was the only one who had an inkling of why. "Um…we weren't making 'goo goo' eyes–"

The older woman simply shoots Callie a knowing look before continuing. "You're working with Avery on the Simpson case right?"

The brunette nods, her gaze moving back briefly to the blonde doctor who's now blatantly smirking at her.

"And you know how you said you needed a good craniofacial surgeon to consult on the case?"

"Mhm," Callie hums, shaking her head slightly as Arizona waves her over.

"Well…as you know it's a very specialized surgical sub-specialty, and I know Avery as well as you want the best consult available, b-but the best…may not be um," Bailey pauses for a second, for the first time fidgeting nervously with her hands, "may not be the best fitting…you understand what I mean?"

Callie squints her eyes in confusion at the chief. "Um…I want the best, Bailey. I can deal with surgeon egos if that's what you're worried about."

Bailey shakes her head and tries to explain further, but Callie holds up her hand, her attention still half on her ex-wife.

"Can we–can we talk about this later?" the brunette requests apologetically, and Bailey releases a frustrated sigh before reluctantly dismissing the other woman with a flick of her hand. She wasn't listening anyway.

Callie walks slowly over to her ex-wife, watching as the other woman tilts her head warmly, dimples popping as she smiles.

"Hi," Callie breathes when she finally makes it to the pediatric surgeon.

"Hi," Arizona responds perkily. Her morning must have been good because all around her is this weird, happy glow. "What did Bailey want?"

"I think she wanted my input about a consult."

"You think?" Arizona responds humored, and Callie licks her lips unconsciously.

"Well it's kind of hard to listen with you staring at me."

Arizona rolls her eyes, laughing lightly. "You stared at me first."

"It was a glance."

"An elongated glance."

Callie laughs raspily, looking away from her ex-wife for a moment before looking back, eyes sparkling slightly. "I miss you."

The words just slip out, and Arizona's eyebrows rise quickly, surprised by the honesty. Callie's surprised by her honesty as well, but she doesn't really regret her words.

"Is it…is it possible for me to ask you out on a date right now?" Arizona proposes tentatively, watching as Callie furrows her eyebrows, "I know it's only been two weeks, and you'd prefer to beat yourself up for longer, but…can we–can we just skip that part?"

Callie sighs before laughing at herself quietly. "It's kind of creepy how well you know me."

Arizona smiles cutely, shrugging at orthopedic surgeon.

"I have a patient I have to meet with so…" Callie jerks her thumb behind her and Arizona nods disappointedly. "But… I'm uh free at lunch, and we can eat at the same table…or something…platonically."

The blonde flashes a radiant smile before nodding in agreement.

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay, so tell me why you think Bailey was so worked up about the consult. And I'd really love to hear what you think is going to happen.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: So yeah, I had to watch the Lauren/Arizona storyline. If you look at my tumblr you already know this, but oh my god, my Calzona heart. I really have been avoiding that storyline, but yeah...since I'm writing Lauren, I gotta know her character. Also, you guys are really good guessers unless you just naturally know Lauren's surgical speciality(I didn't until last chapter). Okay here's my chapter. ENJOY!**_

* * *

The day is old. Wrinkles of sunset etching themselves into the face of the sky.

Tired people ambling slowly on the boardwalk, heavy-lidded eyes and bored expressions. The stars are even sluggish tonight. Their appearances sparkling and clear only for a moment before quickly being lost under pillowy clouds. The hospital may be the only thing alive this time of night. The hospital and the bar situated just a few streets away from it. It's mysteriously coincidental how close the two were built, almost if one gave need for the other.

Luckily for Lauren though, their close proximity allows her to work excessively and still have somewhat of a healthy social life.

She smiles, fingers running contentedly over her keyboard. She turns toward the large window on the interior wall of her office. The nurses and residents go bustling as if ignorant to the lateness of evening, their bodies perpetually in motion and their expressions contorted in concentration. A group of female interns are huddled almost conspiratorially in the hallway, giggling and chatting. Their fingers pointing interestedly at a wedding magazine.

 _They must be friends of Karine_ Lauren thinks absently.

Karine Johnson, one of Lauren's interns, is getting married in a few months. She's twenty-six, and the groom is some boyish accountant from Milwaukee. He sends her flowers at the office sometimes, and one instance in particular, he came to visit, dragging the giggling woman away from the hospital for what Lauren can only assume was a very romantic evening. They seemed to care deeply for each other, and for all intents and purposes, it was sweet.

Love is sweet. Lauren smiles slightly remembering how excited Karine was when she spotted her little accountant sitting patiently in the waiting room.

Lauren's never been in love like that. Actually, she's never been in love at all.

And maybe that's partially her fault.

Her one-night stand kind of lifestyle isn't exactly conducive to serious relationships. Not that Lauren really minds.

She's come to like the feeling of unfamiliar sheets against her skin. Of waking up with deep scratches and no recollection of how she got them. Of kissing strangers on the side of bars, the smell of alcohol and wet concrete sticking to her nose. She's come to like college girls. College girls who lean drunkenly into her shoulder the entire night, and yet, never call the next day. She likes all those things. She likes her life, she does. It's satisfying and fun. And she's never really met anyone who's made her think differently.

Well, she's met one person.

But she doesn't really count. Yeah, she was interesting and smart and really…good with her hands. Lauren smirks amusedly to herself before quickly sobering.

But she was married. And there's nothing satisfying or fun about chasing a married woman.

Still though…Lauren sometimes wonders what would have happened if she had tried harder, if she had stayed.

The craniofacial surgeon sits quietly for a moment more, contemplating the whole ordeal before soon realizing that the train of thought was useless. It was only going to make her want for something clearly not meant to be.

Besides…Lauren likes her life.

The surgeon begins scrolling through her email, something she was doing before her mind got derailed, and almost immediately a name pops out to her.

 _Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital_

 _Miranda Bailey  
Chief of Surgery  
M.D.  
F.A.C.S._

* * *

It's Saturday. Family Day.

And though Callie and Arizona are both on call, they've decided to make as much room as possible in their schedules for an afternoon off. Sofia was so excited at the sight of both of her mothers walking into the daycare that she nearly tripped over a building block. They took her for ice cream and then a walk around the park, and soon, they ended up home. Sofia sitting on the carpet, bent over the coffee table, intensely focused on something she was drawing. And Callie and Arizona on the couch, Callie lain horizonally, her head in her ex-wife's lap.

"So wait, wait, lemme get this straight," Callie interrupts, readjusting her head atop Arizona's thighs. The other woman looks down at her ex-wife, watching as the brunette grins in thought.

"You tried to ask a woman out over her butt wound?"

Arizona grimaces and nods, her mouth stretching downward in embarrassment as a loud, carefree laugh erupts from her ex-wife's mouth. Sofia, whose sitting on the floor scribbling furiously on a drawing pad, pauses, curiously looking over at the couch where her two mothers are huddled up. She watches intently as Arizona's grimace melts into a smile, the woman's delicate hand lifting to stroke affectionately at her ex-wife's dark tresses. After a moment of observing her mothers and assessing their closeness with innocent optimism, Sofia's curious expression calms into a happy one, and as quickly as she had stopped, she begins again excitedly doodling on her pad, every once and a while moving her gaze to the vibrant cartoons flashing past on the television screen.

"Yeah, it wasn't really my best moment," Arizona murmurs abashedly, and Callie tries valiantly to calm her own laughter, cooing apologetically at the other woman's now reddened face. "I don't know what's happened to me, Callie. I used to be _so_ good at dating."

Callie pats the other woman's cheek affectionately, letting her thumb stroke gently against Arizona's skin. "Maybe, I ruined you for everyone else." Arizona lets out a half-scoff,half-laugh, rolling her eyes at the brunette's cocky smile. She tries to think of something witty to say back, but the familiar beep of a pager interrupts her.

Both women look at each other knowingly, sighing in slight aggravation at having their family time interrupted. Callie reaches down to her waist, unclipping her pager and bringing it up to her face. After a second of looking at it, she smiles widely.

"Not mine."

Arizona rolls her eyes, lifting her waist up just enough to unclip her pager from her pants. Karev said he'd try to let her have this whole afternoon free after she promised to let him scrub in on her doxycycline sclerotherapy. But apparently, he was overwhelmed, and one of her patients was having complications with his liver. Sofia looks at both her moms disappointedly, pouting and crossing her arms. Callie gives her an apologetic look, getting up from the couch to kneel in front of the little girl.

"I'm sorry, Cariño," the orthopedic surgeon strokes the girl's hair lightly before giving her a loud kiss on the forehead. "We'll do something tonight. Just you, me and Mama." Arizona smiles reassuringly at Sofia, getting up to plant a kiss on the girl's forehead too.

"How about on the ride to the hospital Mommy tells you about the time she sewed a man's thumb to his foot?"

Sofia looks between both of her moms disbelievingly. "That…that's not true. M-Mommy can't do that." Callie widens her eyes as if offended before picking Sofia up and bringing her eye-level.

"Mommy can do a lot of things," Callie whispers like she's letting the little girl in on a secret. Sofia's eyes dart suspiciously in between both of her parents before finally widening in awe.

"Really?" she whispers in wonder, and both women nod simultaneously.

"Really."

* * *

Bailey finally builds up the nerve to approach Callie about the craniofacial consult a week later. The woman is lingering in Alan Simpson's room, lifting a CT scan up to the beams of light streaming in from the window. His parents, a tall, thinning Spanish woman and a dark-skinned man with tired eyes, are huddled behind her, peering nervously at the x-ray of their son's deformed skull. Callie directs their attention to his facial clefts, gesturing to both carefully as if each one is delicate and important. Alan is sleeping. His face is remarkably calm, considering the rather disheveled state of his parents, and Bailey instantly notices the rather striking darkness of his hair, perhaps accentuated against the lightness of the hospital pillow case. He's beautiful even with his deformity, and as Callie gestures affectionately toward the sleeping boy, Bailey is certain that she sees it too. His parents are too worried to notice. They look as if they haven't slept in days.

Alex Karev was the only doctor who even gave Alan a second glance (all the other doctors being instantly scared away by the severity of his case), so when he referred them to and , it felt like a godsend. Both of the doctors took immediate action, and in a month or so, as had surmised, they as well as a craniofacial specialist would be working on Alan .They would be giving the boy a chance at a regular life, a regular childhood. Free of hospital visits and playground ridicule. Free of all the bad things that had encompassed him since the moment he was born.

They were giving him a chance.

So even as Alan's parents' faces crinkled with concern at the difficulty of the surgery, Callie kept a large, brilliant smile stretched across her face, reassuring them both of her and Avery's solid procedural plan. Bailey watches as the other doctor explains a few more things before deciding it was time to stop stalling.

"Dr. Torres," the Chief of Surgery leans through the doorway, smiling briefly at the parents before turning her attention back to Callie, "May I speak with you, please?"

Callie nods at Bailey, turning back to Alan's parents to excuse herself. When both women are finally outside of the door, Bailey pushes her hands into her pockets, steeling herself for the difficult conversation she's about to have. It's hard work being Chief.

"What's up?" Callie questions, an innocent smile still adorning her face. She's been smiling a lot lately Bailey notices, which probably has something to do with the fact that she and Arizona have been eating lunch together all week.

Which really only serves to make this harder.

"The craniofacial consult I'm looking at," Bailey starts to say, sighing tentatively as Callie tilts her head to the side, "It's uh…you're not going to like it."

Callie squints her eyes in confusion. "I told you. I can work with anyone you get Bailey. I just need them here as quickly as possibl—"

"It's Boswell," Bailey cuts her off, successfully silencing the taller woman. Callie's mouth hangs open just a bit like all the words she was about say have just frozen on her lips.

"Lauren Boswell?" the ortho surgeon questions though she's certain she knows the answer. They stay silent for a few moments, staring at each other, before Bailey finally gives the other woman an affirmative nod. Calle's body reacts instantly. Her jaw clenches. Her throat tightens. And she releases this half-scoff, half-grunt thing that makes Bailey back away a little.

"Um, Callie?"

The woman peers at her with hard eyes, and it's almost scary how quickly the mood has changed.

It's weird the things that people never quite get over. The things they never forget.

"I don't want her here. Thank you for informing me. Please cancel the request."

"Callie…" Bailey sighs understandingly only to be leveled by Callie's cold stare. She's never really seen the brunette like this.

"No, Bailey. Thank you, but no, thank you. Cancel it."

"Callie, I haven't made any concrete arrangements yet. I just contacted to her to see if she'd even be available. And she said she'd be willing to come—"

"Oh, I bet she did—"  
"Callie." Bailey runs a frustrated hand down her face as she watches the woman cross her arms and raise one steely eyebrow. "Please, just listen to me. Boswell is the best craniofacial surgeon this side of the country." Callie scoffs loudly. "And as much as we _all_ justifiably hate her, no one else can be here and do a Tessier Facial Cleft correction effectively within a month—"

"I said no, okay... Avery and I can wait for another surgeon," Callie asserts stubbornly, and Bailey looks on sympathetically. She knows if Ben ever cheated on her she'd never want to see the other woman either. But this is much bigger than jealousy or indignance. This isn't about Callie or Arizona or Lauren. It's about the patient.

"Can the Simpsons wait for another surgeon?" Bailey questions deliberately, watching as Callie's face softens a bit. She looks over toward the window where both tired parents can be seen looking worriedly at their son. Callie follows her gaze, her brown eyes lingering there for a moment before angrily turning away. "I know you, Callie. You always put the patient first…you know the right thing to do."

Callie looks frustratedly at the other woman for a moment before speaking again.  
"How long will it take to get another good craniofacial surgeon here?"

"We'll be on a three to four month waiting list at best."

"Are you sure?"

"Certain."

There's another long lingering silence where Callie just stands there looking, arms crossed, jaw clenched. Bailey can tell she's fighting with herself. One side of her spiteful and hurt and the other side reasonable and understanding.

Eventually the brunette lets out a loud sigh, and Bailey knows one of the sides has won.

"Fine…put in a request."

Callie concedes it lowly, shaking her head as she turns away from her chief and continues walking down the hall.

* * *

Arizona's noticed Callie's sudden mood change. First, at the hospital, when she wouldn't so much as smile at the blonde in passing. And every time the pediatric surgeon tried to talk to her, she'd find some excuse to get away.

Then, on the car ride home, the brunette was basically mute. Even when Arizona turned the radio to the country station (which Callie absolutely hates), still nothing. It was like a switch had flipped and all the happy fluffiness surrounding their relationship suddenly vanished. The pretty pink bubble popped.

And honestly the blonde is so confused as to why. Everything had been going right with them for the past week. They'd been talking a lot, being affectionate. Of course, serious intimacy wasn't really on the table yet. The two hadn't so much as kissed since Callie's breakup with Penny. But Arizona found herself sort of okay with that. The lack of sex allowed a lot more time for talking and listening. And that was wonderful.

And working perfectly fine.

Until suddenly, it wasn't.

And the two women found themselves lying in bed together, strangely separate from each other. Callie's back is to her blonde companion, but Arizona can still hear her tapping quietly against the bedspread. The silence is excruciating.

"What's wrong?" Arizona finally asks, reaching over to poke lightly at the other woman's shoulder.

"Nothing," Callie mutters quietly, keeping her back to the blonde doctor. Arizona rolls her eyes, poking the woman again.

"Something's going on…just tell me."

Callie waits a beat before finally rolling onto her back, a heavy sigh falling from her lips.

"Lauren Boswell is coming back to consult with me on a case," she finally says, her eyes peering blankly at the ceiling. Arizona almost releases a gasp of surprise, but thinking better, she swallows it down. She'd have time to be shocked later. Right now, Callie needs her reassurance.

"Oh…okay," the blonde tries to say it nonchalantly, but the taller woman turns to her instantly, brow furrowed and mouth downturned.

"What's okay about the woman you cheated on me with coming back to the hospital?"

"Callie…" the blonde sighs, reaching over to take the woman's hand in hers, "Lauren doesn't matter to me…she never has."

"Even when you were sleeping with her?" The other woman bites almost reflexively though her scowl quickly gives way to an apologetic grimace. "Ugh," she groans at herself, "I don't know where that came from. I'm sorry."

Arizona simply squeezes her lover's hand before bringing it softly to her lips. "It's okay…I get it…" the blonde whispers understandingly, scooting closer to her unofficial girlfriend. "You're worried…You're worried because we're in a good place right now, and you're afraid Lauren's reappearance is going to change things for me…for us…but it's not you know…You think me leaving you is an actual possibility, but it isn't. It hasn't been for a very long time." Arizona says it firmly, but Callie makes a face, a little skeptical of the other woman's impassioned declaration. The blonde simply squeezes the woman's hand again before pressing it against her chest. "I'm serious, Calliope…I've been with a lot of people in my life, I admit. I'm not with you for lack of choices. And you shouldn't want me to be. All those other women, all those other relationships, I don't want them. I chose you. I choose you…The world is full of Lauren Boswells and Leah Murpheys and freaking Jennifers from Derm. I've been with tons of them. Tons. And none of them have mattered. None of them have meant anything to me. And I don't know if the whole soulmate thing is real or not. I-I don't know if there's just one person out there in the world for me... But I do know, nobody, not even Lauren Boswell, has made me feel the way I feel right now…just being close to you," Arizona pauses, taking a deep breath and considering her words for moment. She feels honesty swelling in her throat. "I am so in love with you, Calliope."

The blonde watches intently as Callie's eyes soften. The brunette tugs her bottom lip in between her teeth, sighing lowly as Arizona reaches up to rub lightly at the worry lines forming on the her forehead.

"Calliope Iphegenia Torres, I want to spend my life with you, okay... Trust me."

The taller woman releases a deep breath, her eyes swirling with awe…and contentment. "Okay," she says finally, her voice raspy with emotion, "I just..." Callie pauses for a moment, peering deeply into her lover's cerulean eyes, "I just really love you too." She finally finishes.

Arizona smiles widely, leaning close enough to let her nose nuzzle the other woman's. Callie brings her hand up to cup Arizona's cheek, holding her close for a moment before slowly leaning in to kiss her. The pediatric surgeon moans in surprise… but doesn't pull away, letting the woman press gentle pecks into her lips.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you," Callie whispers, pulling away from her ex-wife slightly, "I want to spend my life with you too."

* * *

"Jackson won't even look at me," April whines lowly, throwing her head back against the cushion of the leather office chair. She swivels back and forth slightly, a pitiful look adorning her features. Arizona knows the redhead is looking for comfort. Happy, superficial, best friend comfort.

But Arizona is literally functioning on three hours of sleep. She and Callie spent the entire night making out and talking, only realizing at 3 in the morning that they should probably get some rest.

On top of that, the expresso she gulped down this morning wore off 40 minutes ago, and now, all she can really think about is Callie's lips and, oddly enough, that freaking mermaid show that Sofia's obsessed with now.

It's terrible and annoying and makes absolutely no sense. If they're mermaids, why do they use submarines?

"Arizona!" April finally breaks through the blonde's "riveting" train of thought. "Are you even listening to me?"

The blonde nods quickly which seems to satisfy April for the most part who launches right back into her spiel. Arizona lets her eyes wander a bit over the other woman's head, staring blankly at the occupied hospital beds and the quickly moving nurses. Is the hospital always this frantic? Or is Arizona just never this stagnant?

A minute or so passes like that before the April finally slows down again, teetering off into a quiet question.

"What do I do? I feel like I'm losing him."

The younger woman looks up at Arizona with questioning, waiting eyes, but the pediatric surgeon can only peer blankly back, opening and closing her mouth uselessly unable to find the sappy, understanding words her friend undoubtedly needs to hear. "Um…"

Arizona tries to respond only to be interrupted by flash of gorgeously dark hair settling beside her. The blonde barely has a chance to register the other woman's presence before a steamy cup of coffee is slid onto the counter in front of her. Arizona looks in surprise from the coffee cup to the Latina beside her, her heart flutters softly when she sees a slight smirk curling on the brunette's lips

"Hi there," Callie says lowly, nudging the cup closer to her blonde companion, "I thought you might need this."

Arizona looks back toward the coffee cup like it's the Holy Grail before quickly picking it up and bringing it to her lips. When she's done, she almost moans in satisfaction.

Callie watches her amusedly. "Like it?" she asks teasingly, and the blonde nods emphatically, taking another sip of her coffee.

"I love it. I love your coffee," she all but groans, closing her eyes a bit and savoring the bittersweet taste of the beverage. Callie watches her closely, eyes darkening a bit at the unintentional innuendo.

April watches the interaction, her gaze darting suspiciously between both women. Arizona hasn't really talked about her romantic life but that hasn't stopped the redhead from noticing the sudden lack of free time the blonde has. Or how weirdly happy she's seemed lately. It's all been a bit peculiar to the young doctor, but now, watching Callie stare fixedly at the other woman, it all starts to make sense.  
"Ahem," April clears her throat, loudly enough to jar both women into looking at her with wide eyes like they're genuinely surprised there's someone else in the room.

"So uh…I'll see you later. Enjoy the coffee," Callie says awkwardly after a moment before walking quickly in the other direction. Arizona just continues sipping her coffee, leaning lazily into the reception desk. She's so casual.

"What was that?" April asks bluntly, and Arizona furrows her brow like she has no idea what the redhead is referring to.

"Hm?"

"Don't 'Hm' me. You and Callie…what's going on there?"

Arizona shrugs nonchalantly, taking another sip of her coffee. "We're just…you know…"

The blonde smiles coyly, and April narrows her eyes even more.

"Spill it," the redhead commands, and Arizona releases what can only be described as a school girl giggle.

"Callie and I are kinda sorta back together…"

* * *

 **A/N: So honestly. Did you enjoy this chapter? How do you think Lauren's Arrival is going to go? Tell me in the reviews or PM me or message me on Tumblr. Whatever floats your boat.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Hey guys, I got a lot of favorites and follows last chapter WHICH WAS AWESOME. Made me feel spectacular. But also guys, please review, they're very important to me. Like precious little swaddled babies of joy. Also a guest review basically called Lauren trash and I laughed so freaking hard. Thank you guest. Thank you new readers too, and thank you old faithfuls. Also, Guys I have to give Lauren Boswell a character with feelings. I can't just make her this flat horrible person. I hate her almost as much as I hate Penny and I gave both of them personalities. I have to. Have fun with this chapter, and don't forget to leave a review. I made a url specifically for Calzona**_ **SugarKaneMontgomery/tumblr/com**

* * *

You can fall in love with the same person a thousand times.

You can fall in love in dingy bar restroom, pressed up against a stained porcelain sink.

You can fall in love at two in the morning, dressed in dark laced lingerie and a birthday hat.

You can fall in love in an elevator. Or under a hospital ambulance bay.

Or a right before your car careens into a pick-up truck.

You can fall in love a thousand times with the same person.

Each time different. Each time special.

Callie thought she had loved Arizona every way imaginable and through everything imaginable.

She had loved her through hospital shootings and airport break-ups and car crashes and plane crashes and Leah Murpheys and Lauren Boswells and couples therapy. She had loved her through Africa flights and baby daddies and amputations… She had loved her so much and in so many ways that Callie had honestly thought there couldn't possibly be more.

More love. More ways.

But now, watching the blonde pediatric surgeon lie exhaustedly on the living room carpet, Sofia sitting cross-legged on her back…the love she feels blooming in her chest is unlike any other she's ever felt before.

It's warm and it's sweet and it's so incredibly earned.

Callie looks on affectionately as their daughter chatters excitedly about her day at school, and Arizona, despite her obvious fatigue, nods and hums, assuring Sofia that she is listening. This goes on for a while before both women decide it's about bedtime (and one pouty 5 year-old reluctantly complies). It doesn't take too long before Sofia is tucked in, and both women are in their room. Callie in the bathroom, prepping for nighttime. And Arizona sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, staring contentedly out of the window. She can't help but notice how the sky looks as if beaten into submission; black and blue, puffs of swollen clouds shadowing the moon. Today has been long. But good. Actually everyday has been pretty good since she and Callie began seeing each other again. Arizona takes off her prosthetic leg carefully, stroking her truncated limb as she props the prosthetic against the nightstand. The back to back surgeries really took their toll on her, and she can't help but groan at the steady throbbing feeling in her leg. Callie hears it immediately, pausing in her happy humming to look sympathetically at her lover.

"You know, I could help you with that," she offers gently, but Arizona simply shrugs. Even after all this time, it's still hard for her to open up about her weaknesses. And to her, the leg is a weakness.

"Arizona," Callie says quietly, walking out of the bathroom and slowly approaching the blonde. When she makes it to the side of the bed Arizona is sitting on, she crouches down, her wide brown eyes peering into the blonde's. "It's you and me remember. We're together …your pain is my pain." Arizona looks hesitantly at Callie for a moment, taking a couple of seconds before finally nodding in consent. Her uncertainty though soon melts into relief as Callie tenderly places a soothing palm against the amputated leg. The brunette smiles at her comfortingly, rubbing light circles over the discolored skin where Arizona's stitches used to be. After a moment, Callie's talented hand slowly slides up against the top of Arizona's thigh, squeezing the muscles gently. Arizona swallows hard.

"Is this okay?" Callie asks innocently, allowing her other hand to join the first atop Arizona's leg. The pediatric surgeon can only nod, watching dazedly as one of the brunette's hands begins stroking up and down her inner thigh. "Is it sore right here?" Callie questions, steadily stroking Arizona's thigh, the tips of her fingers unintentionally hitting the edge of the blonde's panties. Arizona clears her throat awkwardly.

"It's uh…it's okay." The answer comes out lame and stilted, her voice involuntarily going raspy. They haven't had sex since in a very long time. Of course, they've done other sexually pleasing things (making out, a little dry humping), but no sex. And honestly, it doesn't truly bother the blonde most of the time; she really likes spending time with Callie regardless of whether they're clothed. But in moments like this when Callie is touching her in a way that is so unbearably intimate, the no sex routine gets almost excruciating.

"Are you sure?" Callie questions, looking down at the woman's leg as she massages it a little harder. Arizona's eyes roll back involuntarily, her bottom lip coming to rest in between her teeth.

"I-I'm sure, Callie," she coughs out, finding the self-control to place her hand over the other woman's, stopping the massage. She doesn't want Callie to start something she won't finish. "T-Thank you," she stutters out breathlessly, squeezing the brunette's hand. Callie smiles at her widely, lifting up a little to kiss the blonde slowly on the lips. Arizona wraps her arms around the other woman, letting her tongue slip easily into her mouth.

"Mmm," Callie moans lowly as she pulls back slightly, her eyes half-lidded, "What do you say we have a good ole' make out session before bed?"

Arizona almost screams; she wants this woman so badly. "Absolutely." She makes herself rasp out before quickly pulling the other woman between her legs.

* * *

 ** _Two Days Later_**

For Lauren, walking into Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital feels like marching into her own crucifixion. Everyone is staring and whispering, their eyes glazed over with either distaste or infatuation. She wonders fleetingly if she is some infamous legend around here, if what she left in her wake was really that bad. She readjusts her purse awkwardly on her shoulder, uncomfortable with all the attention. She had been given instructions via email to meet Callie in her office, and now she'd have to deal with the glares from unfamiliar nurses on her walk to the receptionist desk.

"Hi," she smiles easily enough even as the other woman eyes her suspiciously, "Do you know where I can find Dr. Torres's office?"

The woman stares at her a moment, her expression morphing into one of confusion and slight disapproval. "So...you actually want to find Dr. Torres?" Lauren nods, and the nurse makes a weird face in response.

"You sure?" she asks, and Lauren can't help but laugh at this.

"Yeah I'm sure," she says and the nurse finally shrugs, raising her eyebrows in slight surprise before giving Lauren vague directions. The blonde tries to follow the nurse's instructions but ends up wandering around a bit before actually finding Callie's office. When she finally does, she knocks on the door lightly before pushing it open, finding the brunette sitting in her office chair reading something on her computer. Her brown eyes lift up quickly, narrowing slightly when they set on the craniofacial surgeon.

"Hello, Dr. Boswell," Callie says coldly, gesturing to the grey office chair across from her desk, "Dr. Avery will be here in a moment, and we'll go over the case."

Lauren nods tentatively before taking the offered seat. They sit there for a few awkward seconds, Callie staring blankly at the other woman and Lauren staring uncomfortably back. Finally the door opens, but it's not Avery who appears.

"Hey Calliop—" Arizona's happy greeting catches in her throat as she spots Lauren sitting in the her ex-wife's office chair. She'd almost forgotten that the blonde was due to come back today. Her eyes flick between both women for a second or two before she casually steps back out of the room. "I'll… come back another time."

Callie nods, and the blonde leaves immediately. Lauren's eyes linger a little on the door.

Arizona was the reason she came back to this hospital.

Well Arizona and the fact that she'd get to operate on a rare Tessier facial cleft.

But probably more so, Arizona. The first email Bailey had sent to Lauren had prompted the woman to go searching the pediatric surgeon again, the sudden desire to see the other blonde crackling in the woman's chest. She'd read an article that mentioned her divorce from Callie, and Lauren couldn't help but think she had something to do with it. It was a oddly satisfying thought.

"So you and Dr. Robbins are back on good terms?" She inquires, finally pulling her eyes away from the door. Callie tenses immediately, her arms crossing and her back rigid.

"Let's be professionals, Boswell." Her tone is cold but threatening, and Lauren instantly puts her hand up in placation. She really hadn't thought out the question before she asked…and seeing the looking on Callie's now, she definitely knew she crossed a line. "I'm sorry. I was just curious."

Callie's jaw visibly clenches as she leans forward into her desk a little. "Do us both a favor and keep your curiosity to yourself."  
Lauren smiles awkwardly, leaning away from the obviously peeved Latina. "Okay."

* * *

It's a couple hours after her meeting with Callie and Jackson that Lauren decides she should finally eat.

She's about halfway to the vending machine when she spots the blonde doctor she's been thinking about all day, walking quickly into a storage closet. She hears Callie's warning playing quietly in the back of her mind, but as quickly as it appears, it is overshadowed by her own desire.

 _They're divorced. She has no control over Arizona anymore._

It takes a minute for her to work up her courage, an unfamiliar sense of fear sitting in her bones. She's never felt this nervous about pursuing a woman before. But she supposes isn't just any woman. Finally after another moment of contemplating, she follows after the blonde, breathing a happy sigh when she finally makes it to the storage room door.

* * *

Arizona is in the middle of searching for a tourniquet when she hears the door creak open and shut. At the familiar sound of a lock click, her body tenses deliciously, the thought of a midday make-out session with Callie dancing happily to the front of her mind. She pretends to continue looking for the tourniquet, waiting for the other woman to make her move. She hears a few quiet footsteps move up behind her and then just like that she's being spun around, soft lips pressed firmly into hers. Long slender arms wrap possessively around her hips, and she's quickly and hotly pulled into an unfamiliar body. She barely has time to gasp at the sudden contact before a wet tongue pushes excitedly into her mouth.

And honestly, all Arizona could think is 'This is not Callie. Oh my god, this is not Callie!' Her hands come up quickly, palms flattening against the stranger's chest before they push her harshly away.

Lauren stumbles back in surprise, her blonde hair swaying messily at the sudden force. "W-What the hell?" she coughs up, regaining her breath as Arizona just stares at her, fingers hovering fearfully over her own lips.

"Oh, fuck!" the blonde groans so fiercely Lauren steps back a little, feeling the need to give space. "Why would you do that?" The pediatric surgeon throws her hands up angrily, her eyes closing for a second as her body almost vibrates with exasperation.

"I just—what's the big deal? I thought you were divorced," Lauren states a bit dumbly, her eyebrows raised in confusion. She shuffles little, readjusting her lab coat awkwardly as the frustrated blonde glares daggers at her.

"Callie divorced me, sure, but she's still my wife!" Arizona huffs passionately, shaking her head before pressing her hands against her face in frustration.

"I… honestly have no idea what that means."

"It means that this," Arizona gestures between herself and Lauren, "Never happened."

Lauren quirks a confused, amused eyebrow. "But it did—"

"Nope."

"Arizon—"  
"Never happened. Never will. Please just go."

Lauren stares at the other woman for a moment, her heart suddenly throbbing with an unexpected pain. What the hell? She's been turned down before (albeit not often). Why does this kinda sting? What the hell is this? She tries to shake the feeling away, instead leaning back on a much more favorable façade.

She tilts her head up, offering the other woman a forced, amused smirk. She'd rather seem cocky than disappointed. "I didn't think you guys were back together. I apologize." She tries to send the shorter woman a sincere look though her intentions are anything but.

Arizona simply nods in return, wiping her lips again as if to rid them of the other woman's taste.

"I'm serious…I uh-I think it's nice," Lauren shrugs, feigning nonchalance as she fingers the collar of her coat, "I'm glad you two are working things out…"

"Um, okay thanks."Arizona looks at her confused, awkwardly pushing her hands into her pockets.

"It's so different from the last time I was here," Lauren starts, suddenly eyeing the woman with a far-from-sincere gaze, "….you know, when we had sex."  
"Um—"

Lauren laughs wistfully. "I know this isn't the same room but doesn't it bring back memories—"

"Stop," Arizona holds her hand up, embarrassed.

"Why? You don't like the memory? You sure enjoyed making it—"

"Leave." Arizona interrupts, pointing furiously at the door. She knows exactly what Lauren is doing.

"If you haven't been getting laid lately, Dr. Robbins" Lauren smiles in return, "I can help with that—"

"You know what I'll leave," Arizona cuts the other woman off, shaking her head in guilt and anger. "It was terrible seeing you again. Please let this be our last interaction."

Lauren chuckles quietly, hurt panging in her chest. This was so stupid; no lay was worth chasing after. And that's all Arizona is, Lauren asserts in the back of her mind, a fucking lay.

"Whatever, Dr. Robbins," Lauren says easily, waving sarcastically as the other woman pushes pass her to get to the door.

"And by the way, "the blonde turns around quickly, hand on the knob of the storage room door, "This never happened." Arizona repeats the statement coldly before leaving the room and the craniofacial surgeon completely.

It's a couple of seconds later before Lauren also exits the room, neither of the women notice the pair of light blue eyes watching them intently.

* * *

Arizona looks like a zombie. That's the first thing April notices when the blonde finally joins her at their usual lunch table. She watches quietly as the pediatric surgeon pushes around food on her tray, huffing every now and then as if suddenly remembering something upsetting.

April waits a few minutes before finally deciding to ask. "So uh…are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Arizona looks up from her tray, her eyes widening as if surprised by April's presence.

"Nothing's wrong…" she says, offering the redhead a forced smile. April sees through it easily, narrowing her eyes at the other woman.

"Something is definitely wrong," she retorts bluntly, "You look like someone just killed your cow." Arizona furrows her eyebrow in confusion at the redhead.

"Cow?"

"Sorry, I grew up with a lot of farm animals."

Arizona smiles a little at this before going back to pushing her food around. It takes a few moments before she speaks again. "Lauren kissed me in the storage closet…"

April's eyes widen almost comically, and her hands come up to grip the edge of the table. "She did what?!"

"She just kissed me out of nowhere…She said she didn't know Callie and I were back together," Arizona scoffs a little, the dilemma resting heavily on her mind.

"And then you punched her right?"

Arizona laughs in surprise at the redhead before exhaling loudly. "No, I can't punch anyone. My hands are my paycheck."

April leans back in her chair, sighing too as she absorbs the information. The sit in silence for a few seconds before a question suddenly comes to the redhead. "So what did Callie say when you told her? I know she must have been pissed."

Arizona makes a face at her best friend, flicking her hand dismissively. "Callie is never going to find out about this…ever."

April looks at blonde like she's said the craziest thing imaginable. "Um, yes she is because you're going to tell her."

"Oh no, I'm definitely not. Callie's going to freak out," Arizona laughs humorlessly, shaking her head at the idea. April looks at her sympathetically for a moment.

"Arizona, Callie loves you. She'll understand."

"She loved me two years ago and that didn't stop her from divorcing me—"  
"Arizona," April interrupts, giving the blonde a scolding look, "you have to tell Callie. If you don't, if you wait, it'll look like you have something to hide."

Arizona meets the redhead's gaze for a moment before looking away and shaking her head. "I don't want her to leave me again."

April looks at her best friend searchingly for a moment before finally raising her eyebrows as if something just dawned on her. "You're not over the divorce are you?"

It's phrased as a question, but it comes out more as a statement. Arizona simply furrows her brow.

"What are you talking about?"

"You think Callie's not over the cheating thing. And maybe she's not. But you definitely haven't forgiven her for the divorce."

"April, what?" Arizona laughs like the redhead's assertion is completely absurd, "I get why she left. I understand."

"You might understand it, but you are definitely not over it."

"Yes, I am."

"Then tell her Lauren Boswell kissed you," April says bluntly.

"What does that have to do with anything? The kiss meant nothing. Callie doesn't need that stress. She has to do surgery with the woman for god's sake."

April's eyes widen in disbelief, and she leans over the table a bit, scooting her tray up slightly, "You both are insane! I don't see how the two of you even work. She's always afraid you're going to cheat, and you're always afraid she's going to leave. It's ridiculous. Just talk it out!"

Arizona throws her hands up, leaning in also to whisper at the woman heatedly. "You take your own advice. You and Jackson don't talk about anything!"

April narrows her eyes at the woman before backing down a little and scoffing. "Jackson and I are different."

"How?"

"Because we're younger… a-and have no kids...and haven't been pining over each other for almost 10 years."

"Whatever," Arizona waves her hand dismissively, bringing a carrot up to her mouth. "You don't understand."

April sighs, making a face at her best friend. "Fine, think I don't understand…but eventually Arizona, you have to trust that Callie won't leave you…or you'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Arizona shakes her head, her blonde hair whipping across her face lightly. "Can we just eat lunch?"

April moves to protest but seeing the other woman's dejected face, she decides against it, figuring what the woman really needed was a change of subject.

So she lets it happen and soon enough they're in a deep discussion about the blonde's upcoming surgery.

The day goes by pretty quickly after that though Arizona takes great care to avoid Lauren at all costs. Callie takes about the same approach with the unwanted surgeon, giving and receiving direction mostly through Jackson. By the end of the day, both women are extremely happy to go home.

* * *

It's late.

It's really, really late by the time Callie and Arizona settle into bed, a reluctant Sofia already tucked in for the night.

They are both slightly aware of the fact that tomorrow, like most of their days, will probably be filled to the brim with sick patients. And hectic waiting rooms. And laborious surgeries.

The metallic smell of sterile operating rooms and bloodied scalpels.

Paperwork and red tape and times of death flowing in an endless torrent of work.

And they know, as of now, sleep is their friend. Sleep keeps them level-headed and effective and smart. And they should welcome it with open-arms and anticipation. Especially after the tedious day both of them have had.

But against all logical logic, they guard against it. They push it somewhere in between their plush pillows and comfortable bed sheets. Apathetically ignoring its beckons.

Yes, they can sleep, and they very well should.

But they don't.

The two women lie facing each other, their hands clasped somewhere in the space between them.

Their eyelids are droopy but unclosing even as their yawns become deeper and their words become slurred.

They don't sleep.

"How was your day?" Arizona inquires quietly, watching as Callie's brown eyes sag shut for a moment before slowly sliding back open.

The brunette glides her thumb back and forth against Arizona's hand, shrugging absently at the blonde's question. "I don't know," Callie says after a moment. Her eyes flick away in thought, and Arizona watches, sleepily enthralled in the way the moonlight spills messily atop Calle's skin. Ivory against caramel.

Beautiful.

"I think we made a lot of progress in Alan's case," Callie whispers softly, a lazy smile forming on her lips, "I mean, I dislike Lauren on general principle, but she's a pretty good surgeon. I feel like we'll be able to do the surgery in a few weeks."

"That's awesome," Arizona whispers back, smiling and squeezing the other woman's hand gently, "Everything's working out."

"Yeah…" Callie sighs contentedly, scooting closer to Arizona, her head now partially on the blonde's pillow, "Everything is perfect." She leans over, kissing the blonde slowly before pulling back.

"I almost forgot how good it was like just being with you like this…no fighting, no secrets…just us." Arizona smiles back a bit uneasily against cool fabric of her pillow casing.

"Yeah…no secrets."

* * *

 _ **A/N:How are you feeling?**_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Review...or don't. I'd love you regardless...but I wouldn't know if you loved me. Or hated me. I'd be eternally uncertain.**

 **Anywaysssss, if you guys get a little restless in between these breaks (i know this last one was long) I make Calzona story snapshots on my tumblr. just you know, search for the tag snapshot.**

* * *

Callie is in the kitchen, her hands plunged into soapy sink water. She's humming the way she always does when she cleans, her hips swaying slightly, her head tilted to the side. Arizona watches her from the doorway for a moment. Smiling at the familiarity of everything, of Callie. She's home. They're home.

"You know, you don't always have to wash the dishes. I can do it sometimes."

Callie doesn't even turn around; she doesn't even jump at Arizona's sudden presence. She just kind of smiles and continues scrubbing the small blue plate that's in her hand.

"You only wash dishes when I'm mad at you." Callie states the fact like it's something they both should know, like it's been happening long enough to be an established thing. But Arizona furrows her brow deeply, a bit confused by the observation.

"Really?" the blonde asks finally moving in from the archway of the kitchen and making her way over to the other woman, "I remember washing dishes a lot when we were married."

"I was mad at you a lot when we were married," Callie counters, laughing at Arizona's agreeing nod.

"Think about it," the brunette starts, turning toward her ex-wife who's now leaned up against the counter beside her, a look of concentration on her face, "The first four years, excluding my pregnancy, who did all the chores?"

Arizona thinks for a moment, her arms crossed loosely, her blonde hair falling messily against her face. Callie looks on amusedly as the other woman's expression slowly starts to turn. First to disbelief then to awareness then to shock.

"Oh my god."

Callie smiles affectionately , moving over a bit to give the other woman a kiss on the cheek. "It's okay," she whispers against the Arizona's jaw, planting a tiny kiss there too before returning to her normal stance over the sink.

Arizona watches the other woman with regretful eyes. "I'm sorry Calliope. I'll start doing things around the house. Washing dishes, doing laundry—"

Her guilty spiel is interrupted by an abrupt, loud laugh from Callie. "Oh god, please don't start doing laundry."

"What?" the blonde asks perplexed, and Callie simply looks at her ex-wife, eyes shining with sympathy and amusement.

"Arizona, you're terrible at doing laundry."

Callie takes her hands out of the dish water, wiping them on a clean towel while the other woman stands watching her, a slightly offended look adorning her face. "I'm not terrible at doing laundry."

"No, listen… I'm telling you this as someone who loves you," Callie takes the other woman's hands in hers, "you're terrible at doing laundry. You shrink stuff. You forget to separate reds from whites—"

"That only happened twice!"

Callie laughs, shaking her head at the other woman though her eyes glint happily. "I love you," she sighs easily, and Arizona's eyebrows rise a little at the sudden affection. Callie moves to rest her hands on the blonde's hips before planting a small kiss against her lips. "I love you, and I don't care that you don't do laundry. Or wash dishes. Or take out the trash. You don't have to dote on me or win me over. I'm there. I'm won."

Callie punctuates her words with a peck on the lips, and Arizona can't help but smile into the kiss. She wants this forever. She wants Callie forever.

"No take-backs, okay. No changing your mind later. Even when we're seventy, and I turn all your white socks pink," Arizona whispers seriously as she gives Callie another gentle kiss. The brunette makes a face before outright laughing, her body vibrating comfortably against her lover's.

"No take-backs?" she questions, amused when Arizona nods. She smiles happily letting her head fall against the shorter woman's shoulder as she wraps her long arms around the blonde's waist. "Are you gonna make me pinky promise next?" Callie continues teasingly, turning her head so her mouth is pressed sweetly into Arizona's neck, "Cross my heart and hope to die?" The blonde smiles, wrapping her arms around Callie's back and swaying slightly.

"I might," she responds, and Callie laughs again, puffs of warm air pushing gently against Arizona's skin. She lets her hands stroke up and down the length of the blonde's back before kissing the woman neatly on the neck.

"Okay. No take-backs."

* * *

The next day, Arizona is sitting down in the cafeteria with April, alternating between talking about surgeries and talking about their relationships. It's different than how it used to be when Arizona was single, when both of them could complain about how terrible everything is. Now, it's just mostly April complaining about how terrible everything is, and Arizona half-listening, half-sending stupid text messages to Callie.

 _A: I miss you_

 _C: I miss youuuu_

 _A: Not as much as I miss you_

"Will you give it a rest?" April requests loudly, and Arizona, startled, lifts her head from her phone, shocked by the redhead's shrill outburst. When she looks up she finds April with her arms crossed and one eyebrow cocked.

"What?" Arizona inquires dumbly, and the trauma surgeon shakes her head in disbelief.

"Stop texting Callie," April says, and Arizona blushes, swiping at her bangs guiltily.

"How do you know I'm texting Callie?" she tries to ask innocently, but all that does is make April narrow her eyes.

"Let me see your phone."

"What? No…you, weirdo," Arizona plays it off, but just then her phone vibrates, and she looks down to see a text from Callie.

 _C: Come meet me in the on-call room by my office, and I'll show you how much I miss you_

Arizona blushes furiously before clearing her throat awkwardly. "Um...I have to go…"

April sends the blonde a knowing look before rolling her eyes. "Tell Callie I said hi."

Arizona gives her a bashful smile before something over the redhead's shoulder catches her eye. She looks back down at her friend, a mischievous smirk on her lips.

"And you tell Jackson I said hi." Arizona punctuates her words with a wink, and April furrows her brow

"What?"

"April, we need to talk."

The voice rings gentle but firm, and April immediately stiffens. Arizona laughs, smiling at Jackson before picking up her barely touched tray of food.

"You two have fun; I was just leaving" she says, and April glares at her. "Good luck," she mouths to the redhead.

* * *

Lauren can't stop thinking about the kiss.

She can't stop thinking about Arizona. And her blonde hair. And her blue eyes. And the way she smells good even though she's been running around a hospital all day.

She can't stop thinking about missed opportunities and what-ifs. If maybe she had stayed a little longer last time or came back a little sooner, could she have gotten Arizona. Could she still get Arizona?

Lauren sighs loudly, shifting in an uncomfortable on-call room bed.

It's been a week, and she still can't get over a stupid one-sided kiss.

She's just about to turn over and at least try to get a little rest when the on-call room door creaks open. It's dark, sure, but Lauren can clearly make out Callie Torres's form. The blonde is about to make her presence known, but before she can Callie starts positioning herself in this weird sort of cocky stance. She pulls down the neck of her scrub top, combs her hair a little with her hands, and leans against the metal railing of the bunk bed. Lauren almost laughs when she watches the ortho surgeon begin fidgeting impatiently, but another part of her can't help noticing how attractive the other woman is. She sort of gets it…why Arizona likes her so much.

Lauren begins to think that maybe she should pretend to wake up, maybe fake yawn really loudly, or really anything to make that other woman know she's in the room. But soon after she develops a plan, the on-call room door creaks open again, and the recognizable form of Arizona steps in. Almost immediately the shorter blonde is locking the door behind her and latching her lips on to Callie's. She pushes the other woman up against the metal railing of the bunk bed, smiling as the brunette releases a surprised moan.

"Mm you really did miss me," the ortho surgeon moans in between kisses.

"I did. I did," Arizona laughs lowly, slowly slipping her hands up the other woman's scrub top, "I always miss my girlfriend."

Callie smiles wider at the title, humming pleasedly as Arizona begins dotting wet kisses down her neck. "Your girlfriend, huh? I like that."

Lauren watches on a little panicked, certain she should break up this lovefest before the pants come off. Quickly, she releases a loud fake cough causing both of the women jump apart like they'd just been shocked by lightening. Their eyes dart toward Lauren who gives them a weird little awkward wave. Arizona looks at her, cheeks reddening slightly in embarrassment, and Callie just looks peeved.

"What the hell, Boswell?" the taller woman raises her voice before quickly smoothing down her shirt, "How long have you been there?"

Lauren just kind of makes a guilty face which only serves to vex Callie more. The brunette throws her hands up.

"¿Que eres?" she inquires loudly, "¿Viejo verde? Sal de aquí o te mato!" Lauren just stares at the other woman. One because she doesn't speak Spanish, and two because she's kind of scared.

"I-I just—I'm just gonna go," Lauren stutters uncomfortably, gathering her shoes as quickly as she can while Callie glares at her. Arizona stands quietly, a little shocked by Callie's dramatically adverse reaction to Boswell, but also, slightly aroused by her angry Spanish ranting. It doesn't take long before Lauren's shoes are on, and she's awkwardly sliding between the two women to get to the door. As she's closing it behind her, she hears Arizona whisper lowly, sexily, "That was muy caliente, Calliope."

The other woman laughs raspily before groaning. "Really?"

"I love the way you roll your tongue."

"I bet you do," Callie almost moans out the response, and Lauren is in the middle of an eye roll when all of a sudden there's a quiet thud against the door. Arizona is releases a loud guttural grunt.

 _They're going to have sex against the door,_ Lauren thinks. _How unprofessional._

She's walking down the hallway, a bitter scowl resting on her face when she notices Meredith Grey staring at her from further down the hall. It's not really a stare actually…it's like a lazy glare. It doesn't last long, just a few seconds and then it's over, and Meredith is walking in the opposite direction of her.

It's weird, the blonde thinks. But she simply chalks it up to the blatant dislike everyone around this hospital seems to have for her.


End file.
